Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive! Cuz you told me you were a C cup! It’s cool. We’re good. It’s all webbing under the boob bridge now. Anyway, this Spiderweb Lace Bra is scary and sexy. I never understood why women need so many bras. I mean, do you really need a bra for doing push ups? What I don’t know about bras could fill a book. That’s cuz I still haven’t cracked Victoria’s secret. Know what I mean bra?
Tag: unique
Undead Zombie Hands Ring
Any zombies in the house? Raise your hands! You in the back. Your hand just fell off. Some skin on your cheek too. Show of zombie hands, who wants this awesome Undead Zombie Hands Ring? Umm, look it’s hard to count you guys when your limbs keep falling off. And some of you are raising some hands that have already fallen off of other people. Some of you are raising feet. Whatever. I lost count. It’s really not worth it. Just wanted to show you all this cool ring, but half of you don’t have a ring finger. Guy in back who just raised a weiner in the air, I know the difference between a finger and a dinger! You guys are gross. I’m out.
Tooth Fairy Anatomical Teeth Bracelet
Through its clever use of dental related hieroglyphics, this Tooth Fairy Anatomical Teeth Bracelet tell the story of the tooth fairy. I think. It could be a horror story about a lonely dentist with two weeks to live and nothing to lose. I have to research it more. But it has teeth all over it. I know that much. It’s enough to make you bi-cuspid curious right?
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Porcupine Lamp
The Porcupine Lamp always stays on, cuz I reached up into the shade once to turn it off and I needed like 400 stitches. My electric bill is like 2 grand a month, but it’s much safer this way. If you do cut yourself, at least that curved horn under the shade will channel your blood all in one place for easy clean up though. There’s that. That’s a selling point right there. Oh poopy. The bulb just blew. Time to get my chain mail long sleeved shirt and gloves. Screw it. I’m just gonna get the paper towels and band-aids right now.
Voodoo Top Hat And Staff
This Voodoo Top Hat And Staff is sweet. Makes me want to twirl that hat and bounce it on my head as I shake the staff and kick into a musical number. That’s the kind of voodoo I’d do, but who do voodoo when you can just watch Hulu? With a fellow named Sulu? Or Cthulu? I have no idea, but that’s actually a good question. I’ll think on it while I’m wearing my cool Voodoo pimp-daddy hat. Smoking my fine cigar and stroking my python. I know that sounds wrong, but stroking your python is so fun you don’t wanna stop. With this hat you can get away with it. Stroke it all day if ya want. No one’s gonna tell you to stop.