H.P. Lovecraft Bust

H.P. Lovecraft Bust
This H.P. Lovecraft Bust is pretty busty. I mean, not as busty as that lady I accidentally bumped into at the supermarket, who saved my life with her giant bazoomba airbags but still. This bust will look good in your home. Maybe you can use it on that altar where you try and summon Cthulhu every night. Yeah, I know what you get up to when I’m not around. That’s dangerous bidness peeps.

Funny story. I once tried to do the same thing. I was all like, “May the many tentacle-headed beast rise again and cleanse the world in blood and fire!” It took me a week to get rid of Predator AND Evil Bob Marley. Apparently the other side heard tentacle-headed and thought that meant dreadlocks. I need to be more specific.

Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet

Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet
This Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet is so cool that it not only calls Cthulhu, it calls Cthulhu and sets up and date, then bangs Cthulhu and leaves in the morning, tucking some cab fair under his tentacles. So yeah, it’s a pretty cool wallet that isn’t messing around. The front features an awesome illustration, while the back side features a famous quote from the story: That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die. This wallet makes an awesome gift.

I’ll expect it gift wrapped though. And throw me a surprise party and invite all of my friends. Aw, you shouldn’t have. *whispers* Yes you should have. Where’s the ice cream and party hats?

Adjustable Snake Eye Ring

Adjustable Snake Eye Ring
This ring is coming up snake eyes! This Adjustable Snake Eye Ring puts a pair of snake eyes on your finger. Along with it’s icky yucky snake skin. I love this ring. Whenever anyone displeases me I’m gonna raise my ring and shout, “The eyes of the snake are upon you. Back off lest ye be judged by the serpent god!” I have no idea what that means, but it sounds cool as hell and scary. And when they look into those snake eyes, they will feel the wrath of the serpent.

Speaking of which, I’m feeling the wrath of the serpent right now. Me go pee pee. Bye bye.

Cinema Killers Zip-Up Hoodie

Cinema Killers Zip-Up Hoodie
Ever feel like you want to cover yourself in horror movie maniacs? This Cinema Killers Zip-Up Hoodie makes it possible. It features a collage of your favorite classic horror movie killers, like Michael Myers, Leatherface, Hellraiser, Hannibal Lecter, It the Clown and many more!

This is basically the scariest hoodie ever. It could only be scarier if it was made from the skin of all of these freaks. Damn, I’m dark. Did I just say that. No. That was the hoodie talking. I think it is possessing me. I have a strong urge to wear a hockey mask with a bladed glove.

Vintage Phrenology Head

Vintage Phrenology Head
Phrenology is the study of… Yeah, I’m at a loss. It’s your personality based on the shape of your head or something. I have no idea. What is a Phren anyway? A phren is a phren, right till the end. Put her there phren. I’ll see you later. I have to go consult a head about my life. I think it might be a map to buried treasure that aliens implanted in my brain. Plus, I’m gonna get this vintage phrenology head just cuz it looks cool.
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