This Wine Coffin Display lets you display your wine in style. Break this baby open and drink up. Pretty soon you will be seeing the dead. Would you like some wine? But of corpse! The seller also says that you can display a doll inside, but a doll never got you blind stinking drunk, so I’ll go with the wine. Gonna drink until I’m embalmed with sweet wine and when I’m gone you can bury my liver in this coffin. It worked hard to get me where I am after all.
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Tag: unique
Dig These Crazy Creature Fossils
These creature fossils from Dustfull let you have some neat creature bones in your home without having to dig them up. I know that my neighbors get really pissed when I dig in their yard, even though I know for a fact that there is a giant T-Rex buried there. Hey, I was as quiet as I could be with that bulldozer. They don’t come with silencers. If they did I would be digging everywhere at night and stealing bones.
They have mermaid fossils, bats, dragons and more. I told you dragons exist! But no, you wouldn’t listen. Why would they show them on Game of Thrones if they were fake? Next you’ll be telling me that half the boobs on the internet are fake. Whatevs. Do your research.
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Crystal Human Skull With Moon Light Brain Walking Stick
This Crystal Human Skull With Moon Light Brain Walking Stick is the coolest cane ever. I’m thinking of whacking myself in the knee just so I can have a bum leg and officially use it. This might be the only cane with a brain of it’s own. And it glows like it is nuclear material. This cane has some serious grey matter. I can practically see the synapses firing. I wonder what he’s thinking. Probably that you are holding his head too tight and he has a headache.
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Bat Coin Purse
The next time you’re hanging out in the cemetery and you need some change, just reach for your hand dandy bat coin purse that is wrapped around your arm. Why you would need change in a cemetery, I have no idea. Maybe they have vending machines there now. Been awhile since I hung out in graveyards. Too boring. It’s always so dead there. Vending machines would really help. That way you could also just leave coins for the dearly departed in case they need a snack. It wouldn’t be the first time a spirit has wandered aimlessly under the pale moonlight looking for a Baby Ruth. No biggie. I do that in my sleep all the time. Sometimes I actually manage to find one. One time I did wake up clutching a turd in a truck stop restroom though. I probably should curb my hunger.
When I get rich I’m so putting vending machines in cemeteries. They’ll leave the change for their loved ones and I’ll sweep it up every night. Put it in a giant pile and dive in it everyday. I’m so awesome. I love me. Gonna buy me something special when I get rich.
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Horror Book Themed Candles
It’s been awhile since I sat down with a good book. You know why? Because books aren’t very good at conversation. Also, because books don’t have the internet with built in naughty websites. Books also don’t feed me. There’s actually a lot of reasons now that I think about it. At least now I can enjoy some good books with my candles thanks to these Horror Book Themed Candles.
These decorative candles from FirstEditionCandleCo have a little book attached and you can even use them as bookmarks. They will make your place look all creepy-like. Gotta say though, these are not that original. I created these back in the great fire of 1996 when I last read a book by candle light. The fireman gave me the candle covered book as a souvenir along with a slap to the back of the head.
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