Tag: werewolf

Werewolf Eye Pendant

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Werewolf Eye Pendant
This Werewolf Eye Pendant is giving me the stink eye. At least, that’s what I assume, since werewolves all stink. It’s like they captured the eyeball just as the dude was turning into a Werewolf and now you can wear it. I hope you’re happy. Meanwhile, some poor Werewolf is going by the name of “One-Eye” and his depth perception is junk now. Can’t even catch a squirrel. Can’t even sleep with one eye open to watch out for other threats. You have basically signed this guy’s death warrant. Was it worth it? Well?

Yeah, I agree, it’s totally worth it. That’s a rad pendant. He’s still got an eye. No harm done. Not like he could see well enough to hurt you anyway, if he found out.

Moonlit Cliff Werewolf Pendant

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Moonlit Cliff Werewolf Pendant
Do you think that Werewolves all wear stuff like this cool Moonlit Cliff Werewolf Pendant, so they can spot each other and know that they are all Werewolves? I only ask cuz some nights I get crazy and tear through a whole rotisserie chicken with my bare hands and they have to lock me in a cage for the night. Also I’m hairy. People say I’m just hungry and fat, I say I’m a werewolf. Then I slash them with my claws and run off on all fours howling. Then I wake up naked the next day, but that’s only because I’m a free spirit.

It’s an endless battle with the moon. Speaking of the moon, I find that the moon acts childish. Oh well, probably just a phase. Once a month the moon gets so full of itself. It’s so vain. Anyway, here’s a song for the moon:

You’re so vain
You probably think this post is about you.
Don’t you?
Don’t you?

Werewolf And Vampire Wall Hanging Art

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Werewolf And Vampire Wall Hanging Art
I’m gonna hang these Werewolf And Vampire Wall Hanging Art pieces at opposite ends of the room and watch them stare each other down. That way they won’t be tempted to come to life and eat me. They’ll be too busy sizing each other up and growling and stuff. That way I can go about my business and have some cool decor, without any worries. Phew! Not that they’re real tough with no arms, but they could bite if you get close enough.

Maybe I’ll give them some mannequin arms and make them hug each other, cuz I’m really all about being a monster peacemaker.
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Werewolf Dog Muzzle

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werewolf muzzle
Nice doggy. Who’s the nice doggy? GOT DAMN! HE TOOK MY ARM OFF. *Points with the index finger I have left* You are not a nice dog!

This Werewolf Dog Muzzle will make your dog look like a Werewolf. Hence the name. Fluffy or Fido will look like they are transforming during a full moon and ready to rip some flesh from your neck.

Put a muzzle on that dog.

Okay I did. Happy?

No, please. Take it off. That thing is terrifying. Why would you put that on a wiener dog? That’s just wrong.
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Michael Jackson Thriller Wolf Lifesize Movie Prop

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Michael Jackson Thriller Wolf Lifesize Movie Prop
Hey look. A wolf in teen’s clothing. It’s the Michael Jackson Thriller Wolf Lifesize Movie Prop. Cause this is Thrilla. Thrilla night. Wooo-Hooo. *Moonwalks backwards into a bench and falls over.* Hey Mike, you grab your crotch with those claws and you’re gonna be holding some pulled pork my friend. Ha ha ha. Oh, stop growling at me. I’m a fan.

One question, why so much white hair as a Werewolf? Too much stress? Careful with that, it’ll kill ya. Ohhhhhh. My bad. I’m just gonna tip my hat, grab my crotch and moonwalk on out of here. *Trips over my own two feet and falls backwards* That was more like a halfway to the moon, shuttle blows up moonwalk, but you get the idea.
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