Author: Artemis Winterford

Creature from the Black Lagoon Saucer Plate

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Creature from the Black Lagoon Saucer Plate
Decorate with monsters, that’s what I say. This Creature from the Black Lagoon Saucer Plate will look great on your wall. I know they call him the Creature from the Black Lagoon, but I don’t see color. The lagoon could be pink for all I care. *Laughs like a rich idiot as I lift my teacup to my lips from my monster decorated saucer. Rings for the butler.* Wait. Why am I wearing a powdered wig? It’s like I’m not even in control of my own imagination. Damn.

Anyway, back to playing with my action figure.

Freddy Krueger Glove Wine Glass – Never Sleep Again

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Freddy Krueger Glove Wine Glass
The Freddy Krueger Glove Wine Glass. For when you want a slash of wine. Not a splash. Never sleep again huh? I seriously doubt that cuz this is like my fifth glass of wine. Slash me again! I’ll tell me when I’ve had too many. I said slash me again! OW! Not in the face! You have sharp nails. Oh, didn’t notice Freddy himself was bartending tonight. *sigh* I’m already asleep aren’t I? Damn! Probably laying on this pillow too.

Gothic Skeleton Wearing A Corset Christmas Tree

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Gothic Skeleton Wearing A Corset Christmas TreeThis Gothic Skeleton Wearing A Corset Christmas Tree is *Ru Paul voice* FABULOUS! All I know is Santa better hike that dress up real high and stack the presents tall.

Christmas morning…

*Reaches under the tree to get my presents. Skeleton slaps me for lifting up her dress!* Just trying to get my presents. Damn. That hurts!

Halloween Collector’s Enamel Pin Set 6-Pack

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Halloween Collector's Enamel Pin Set 6-Pack
Wear these pins on your Michael Myers costume. This Halloween Collector’s Enamel Pin Set 6-Pack gives you 6 pins based on the movie. I’m gonna wear them in a pattern that makes it look like they are stabbing and shooting each other. No one survives my accessorizing! Maybe I’ll have everyone stabbing and shooting that pumpkin. It is a limited edition of only 500 pieces, so get them now! Wear them with these Michael Myers Earrings.

Meat and Potatoes Necklace – Dinner Is Served

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Meat and Potatoes Necklace - Dinner Is Served
I’m a meat and potatoes kind of guy, so basically I would be wearing dinner with this Meat and Potatoes Necklace around my neck. This here is a hungry man necklace! If I’m out and about and get hungry, Imma just rip off my necklace and have a snack. I wonder if I can get some broccoli with it. I’m trying to be healthier. And by healthier, I mean I have one less Snicker’s bar per day. Check out these meta socks too. Dress all in meat. That’s what I would do.