Author: Artemis Winterford

Sugar Skull Comforter Set or Duvet Cover

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Sugar Skull Comforter Set or Duvet Cover
Turn the Day of the Dead into the Day of the Bed. And just don’t get out for anyone or anything. Leave me alone, I’m tired! This Sugar Skull Comforter Set or Duvet Cover is from FolkandFunky, which sounds like a lame buddy cop show from the 60s. One likes folk music, the other likes funk. Together they are cleaning up the streets.

Awwww look at those skulls. They’re so in love. I wonder how they do “it”? Take that back. No I don’t. Just got a mental image of bone on bone action. Wasn’t really all that gross, but the sound of bones on bones grinding really hurt my ears. When the skeletons are rockin’, don’t come a knockin’! I hear that she’s a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. If you know what I’m saying. More like a creak in the sheets. You know, cuz bones.

Till death do us part? I got news for you two. I think you’re about to divorce cuz you is both dead dead dead! But you look lovely. Really, you two are a cute couple. Couple of corpses!

Seriously, they have all kinds of awesome Gothic, skeleton, too creepy to go to bed sets. Check out the whole shop.

Kitchen Overlord’s Dead Delicious Horror Cookbook

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Kitchen Overlord's Dead Delicious Horror Cookbook
The Kitchen Overlord’s Dead Delicious Horror Cookbook will help you to cook gore-met meals that will scare the bejesus out of your dinner guests. It has 69 recipes that will cover your table with so many eyes, ears, guts, brains and more. Your dinner guests may even call the cops because they will think you are a serial killer. They will want to stop you before you can cook again. It has everything from edible strings of human ears to looping guts that are meant to be pulled apart at the table. The recipes are tailored to Paleo, Gluten-Free, Vegetarian, and Vegan diets.

I think I lost my appetite. It fell somewhere in the entrails and I ain’t digging it out.

Horror Themed PS4 Controllers

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Horror Themed PS4 Controllers
These Horror Themed PS4 Controllers are perfect for playing scary horror games in the dark. You can choose from 2 Jason Voorhees versions and one that has Leatherface, chucky and Jason. These are custom handmade controllers. Button mashers? Nah man, I play button slashers! Man, I wish I was rocking a PS4. I’m still playing Atari. I’m keeping it old school. Like really really old school. Like my school is torn down due to asbestos old school and all the kids need to be tested and all the parents are suing.
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Skull and Crossbones Wire Bun Cover

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Skull and Crossbones Wire Bun Cover
Damn. That Skull and Crossbones Wire Bun Cover is awesome. You know what they say, a bun on the head is better than a bun in the oven. That’s what I heard anyway. This is gonna make some librarian look totally badass. It’s Mary Poppins meets Mad Max. Where did they meet? I have no idea, but I hear they sat down for tea and talked shop for a few hours. Then they made sweet love and the credits gently rolled.

Friday the 13th Morphing Mug “Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake”

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Friday the 13th Morphing Mug Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake
Drink up and raise a toast to serial killers who like to wear hockey masks. This Friday the 13th Morphing Mug says “Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake”. Wow, thanks man, great to be here. Gonna have a fun time. Quick question: That scream I just heard coming from the woods? Is that normal? Just a bird huh? Okay, cool. One more quick question: That Hockey goalie that I just saw chasing a woman through the woods and holding a machete, what’s up with that? Roleplay huh? Well, she must not have been in the mood, cuz she locked herself in that cabin over there and he broke in with that machete. Then screams and silence. I guess you’re right, they probably had make-up sex and are sleeping now. Okay, seems legit. I’ll stay the week.