This Nightmare Before Christmas Sally Doll Head Ring is a doll head made into a ring. I think Eric Clapton said it best:
Lay down Sally,
Gonna drill right through your head.
Don’t you think you want someone to wear you?
Pretty sure he said that. I bet he’s saying that now. I heard he reads this blog and sings songs about all of the creepy cool stuff I show you. You Eric, how about some concert tickets. I don’t want to go. Just wanna scalp them like this doll head.
Check out this Elvira Christmas Deluxe Maquette Statue. If that’s what Santa looks like, I’m signing up as an elf and making toys all year long. And staring at boobs. Gonna do lots of staring at boobs. And accidentally brushing up against them when I show her my toys. Va va voom! Know what I’m saying? I’m so on the naughty list. You better spank me Mistress Santa. It’s what I deserve.
Feeling Batty? Me too. Check out this cool Copper Bat Pendant Necklace. It’s friggin’ awesome. Bat-tastic. Bat-mazing. I just want to stare at it all day, but then I would be accused of staring at your breasts. And you’d tell me, “Hey, my bats are up here.” So then I’d look up at the bats in your hair and realize you were Horror host Elvira. Then I’d look down at your breasts for real and get slapped. But I would regret nothing.
Oh yeah. Minty Poop happens to me all of the time. Sometimes from Wintergreen lifesavers, Peppermint Patties, Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies. Minty poop is so refreshing. It’s like a minty effervescent ice cube coming out your butt. It’s the only poop that freshens the bathroom for you. And the colors. So pretty. Like minty poopy soft serve with faces.
Behold the Grand Necronomicon Journal. Dude likes pretty grim. I guess that’s why its a grimoire. He’s a grimy grimmy grimster. He also needs to brush his teeth. Maybe get some sunglasses. Maybe a facelift. That should help home score with the ladies. I’m gonna use this as a diary.
Dear di(e)ary, please stop looking at me like you are hungry. I am not a piece of meat. You scare me. P.S. Sorry I keep fingering your teeth with my fingers.