Keep your beer cool with this Beard Beer Can Koozie. Have several beers? Set them up with some mini guitars and enjoy your ZZ Pop-Tops. Beer always tastes better when it has a beard like a mountain man. And don’t be afraid of spillage. Just like your real beard, this beard will sop up any beer that’s spilled. In other words, redneck cologne.
I’ll take a beer in a beard any day over a bee in my beard. Or a beard in my beer.
I should get this weird cat cleaning itself plush sculpture to show my cat how messed up she looks when she is doing kitty yoga and licking herself all over like she’s a friggin’ ice cream cone. It’s just rude. You don’t see me lifting my leg up and licking my flabby nerd body in front of company. No. I wait until I’m alone to do that stuff because I know it’s f***ing weird.
This thing is 16 inches tall and looking pretty creepy with no damn eyes at all. No way I would let this in my house. This cat’s ready to give himself more licks than the Tootsie Pop owl and will probably finish off with a great big bite too.
Click through for more pics, including one where this cat is doing his thing outside for the neighbors to see. No damn shame!
Read more “Large Black Velvet Cat Cleaning Itself Plush Sculpture”
It’s a nice day for a…White Wedding. This Halloween, go trick or treating as a jilted bride, complete with plastic naked babies sewn all over it. It even has one baby desperately clinging to the end of the train. I’m pretty sure I watched a reality TV show with this premise.
If you wear this costume on Halloween this year, you know you’ll get a ton of candy just because you have all of those mouths to feed. Plus people will feel sorry for you since some guy knocked you up a million times and left you at the alter.
The seller wore this costume to a Halloween party and won the best dressed award. She says she was trying to impress the guy who is now her husband when they first met. No worries dude, I would have screamed and ran too.
Read more “Jilted Bride Wedding Dress Halloween Costume”
These undies are real period pieces, featuring historic figures that will cover your crotch or butt. That’s cool. I guess they are technically underwear as opposed to panties, but it all just covers your junk. Cover your bird in Shakespeare and maybe it will write a sonnet for you. Put Queen Elizabeth I on your cheeks. Cause you know, you are cheeky like that.
Having your period? Well, these are all period specific. Ha. See what I did there? It’s like the history channel and underwear collided. You can find them all here.
A candy necklace that is not a necklace at all, but a bra that women can wear on their boobies? Never got offered one of those on Halloween. I guess this edible boulder holder is all about the foreplay. Well, I may be old fashioned, but I don’t think that foreplay should give you cavities. So just take that off right now and let me nibble for about ten minutes, then we can get down to business.
Ten minutes later:
Damn that was good. Sorry babe, can’t do the deed. Too much sugar. Sleepy time now. Sugar coma. Great choice in lingerie. You should buy another one. Nighty night. *mumbles…snores…drools*
One minute later:
*Jolts awake* Why are you hitting me? OW that hurts. OW quit it! What the hell are you whipping me with?
I did buy another you son of a b***h and now we’re gonna use it. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Your new name is Candy Man. On your knees and sing the song! DO IT!
*crying/singing* Who can make the sun rise?…..
Read more “Edible Candy Bra Is Sadly Not Packing Reese’s Cups”