Thanks for the Macaroni And Cheese Soap grandma. I see you’ve been grocery shopping on Etsy again. That explains the various craft items in the fridge. I also noticed that you parked in the above-ground pool again. You were right, that was a sudden rain storm that was over as soon as it began. I’ll just take your keys now.
Because of you I can’t eat my macaroni in the tub anymore. I keep putting the soap in my mouth and washing my junk with the cheesy Kraft stuff.
This Ghostbusters Slimer Headpiece Mask lets you play the role of slimer this Halloween. I would wear a black robe to hide my body, so it looks like slimer is floating through the night. Then when Bill Murray or Dan Akroyd or, well anybody, gets close…I’m gonna spit on them. You’ve been slimed fool.
Dude that’s nasty! How’d you get the slime all green and gooey so that it sticks to people’s faces?
That was the easy part. I drank lots of mountain dew and I’ve been chewing on nothing but green gummi bears. Been saving that in my cheek all night like a chipmunk.
This guitar is gonna rock you like a hurricane and then not fix your house and make off with your insurance money. It’s wicked awesome. And since a skull and bones means poison, you can call your band Poison. Oh, that’e been taken? How about “Ladies and gentlemen…I present…If Swallowed, Induce Vomiting!” The crowd goes wild.
This $1,299.00 guitar is going to get you all of the ladies. All of the Goth ladies.
In Greek mythology Medusa was beheaded by the hero Perseus. Now she is a Purse. That’s what Perseus does. He makes purses out of all of his enemies. That’s because he owned a little boutique in Athens. Dude was all about fashion. And making accessories out of his victims. Makes sense right? I should be a history teacher.
Don’t look into her eyes! She will turn you to stone and then what will you do? It’s not like you have a little robot owl buddy to help you out, like in that Clash of the Titans movie. Basically you will be all like:
I LOOKED! WHY DID I LOOK? BECAUSE I WANTED TO GET MY WALLET OUT AND PUT ON SOME LIPSTICK! WHY? WHY DID I BUY A PURSE THAT CAN TURN ME TO FRIGGIN STONE? EVERYONE THINKS I’M A STATUE NOW! IS THAT A DOG PEEING ON MY LEG?
Read more “This Medusa Handbag Will Turn You To Stone”
I don’t even know what to say about this condom wrapped Durex mummy. Yeah I do. It looks like a Trojan factory worker took someone hostage and just used what they had handy to tie him up. Let’s see what the seller says. The seller’s words are in italics. My responses are bold.
“Trappings I” is a piece that demands inquiry.
Yeah, like why the f did you do it? Also, any other hobbies we should know about? Last inquiry: Do your hands smell like lube?
It arrests the attention of anyone looking at it.
Yeah, my attention is all handcuffed and beat with a baton. Can’t even make out your badge number through my black eye. Still swear I smell lube. Is that thing gonna stink worse or less as it sits on the mantel?
Not only due to the stark contrast of the actual materials used, but once one begins to question why they were used, a real debate can open up. This piece speaks to social issues that are raging even now. The interpretation is of course up to the viewer, but there were real issues I wanted to bring up with this piece.
We already know why you used the materials you used. It’s better they don’t go to waste. At least they were used for something. The only debate is whether you have any left over for future projects. Depends what kind of a deal you got on an economy pack. As far as issues the artist wanted to bring to this piece, oh yeah, you brought ’em! This piece is full of issues.
Read more “Condom Porcelain Doll Sculpture: That Rascal Is Wrapped”