Memento Mori Skull Watches

Memento Mori Skull Watches
These awesome Memento Mori Skull Watches are designed by Swiss watch designer Fiona Krüger. No relation to Freddy. I think. They might be distant cousins who may have had a falling out, but that’s beside the point and I’ve said too much. Krüger came up with the idea in 2011 while she was a student at the ECAL art school in Switzerland. Now Krüger has her own independent design company and an ongoing line of Fiona Krüger brand Skull watches. Pretty cool.

I wish I had a fancy line of watches like Krüger. Or even like that guy on the street with watches up and down both arms who wants to give me a deal every day. The inside of his coat is lined with necklaces too. I really admire that guy. Who needs a storefront?
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The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf

The Truth is Out There X-Files Scarf
I hear ya. Why would I buy an X-Files Scarf in the middle of the summer? That’s what you’re thinking. Well, that’s what they want you to think. It’s a conspiracy, wrapped in a riddle, inside of an enigma, inside of a pit that holds a quagmire. They don’t want you to have a scarf and be prepared for the cold weather to come. So they hide the truth. Right in plain sight. Is it really summer? Are you sure? Maybe a false summer created by planes spraying chemtrails, cuz they modify the weather, cuz aliens need a warmer climate.

Buy this scarf, cuz when the resistance grounds those chemtrail planes and makes the planet colder, you’re gonna need it. Hope you like snow you alien freaks!
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Bat Choker Necklace

Bat Choker Necklace
This Bat Choker Necklace looks awesome. Let me clarify, cuz words can be confusing. This jewelry is called a bat choker, but is not about choking bats. Choking bats is bad and I’m pretty sure it is illegal in at least 11 states. It is in fact a bat that also happens to be a choker… No, I don’t mean that this bat flies around choking victims. That would just be silly and anyway, there hasn’t been a bat-choking case since 1881. And I’m pretty sure that guy choked on a hot dog and just blamed a bat. No, it’s- I give up. I just wanted to share this cool necklace. Sheesh.

Cthulhu Polo Shirt

Cthulhu Polo Shirt
If I actually went to an office everyday, I would wear this Cthulhu Polo Shirt. It proclaims your allegiance to Cthulhu while keeping things casual. But I don’t go to the office.

No office can contain me, cuz I work my ass off and rise to the top. I’m the cream baby! I’m the American dream! This wolf is on Wall Street. Werewolf that is! ARF! ARF! WHO GOT MY STOCKS? MY MONEY DOUBLES ON A FULL MOON! I’m trying to say I’m a real go-getter! Cuz I spend half my day going to get coffee, donuts, chips, pie… I don’t need no stinkin’ office to pass out in when my sugar coma hits. My couch works just fine.
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Optical Illusion Hypnotic Spiral Ring

Optical Illusion Hypnotic Spiral Ring
I am getting very sleepy. My eyelids are very heavy. I will do whatever you say. What? Because of the Optical Illusion Hypnotic Spiral Ring you are wearing? No, cuz I wanted those fries on your plate. You gonna eat those or what? Fries hypnotize me every time. Cool ring by the way. What’s it supposed to do?
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