Category: Creepy Dolls

Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll

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Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll
I was just saying the other day that every Brian I meet turns out to be a real turd. I’m sure their not all bad, but man, I’ve met a lot of turds named Brian. Here’s another. Brian The Giant Turd Stuffed Doll. He’s ready to be displayed in your home so he can turd up your place. Hopefully they deliver him on time and he’s not turdy. I mean tardy. I’m not sure what his maker ate, but it looks like he’s got some green shading there. Also very puffy eyes. I guess it’s tiring being a turd. Or maybe he’s just sad he came in turd place in a contest.

Also, how do you get a turd that’s segmented in that way? I’m guessing you push, squeeze and push squeeze. I have no idea. And who would have thought that a turd could have such full lips? It’s from kissin’ butt on the way out. He’s a little brown noser. That’s probably why somebody gave him that shiner on his eye.
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Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys

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Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys
Full disclosure. I have no idea what a poppet is, but I’m pretty sure it’s what the doctor removed from my rear. Rectum? No he destroyed ’em! Hahahaha. That’s a little butt humor right there. I apologize. I kept saying. Poppet! Just poppet!

Anyway… These Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys from doctormorose will look great in your home or mortuary. Say, isn’t that where Mort lives? That’s what mom used to say. That trip made me sad in my heart. Mort was not there. Only death. *Shudders*
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Shave And Play Barbie Doll

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Shave And Play Barbie
Damn Barbie. You really let yourself go! Shave and Play Barbie is hairy as hell and ready for a trim! I thought this was a wolfman doll at first. Or a limited edition sasquatch Barbie. Or an Oregon hipster wife Barbie. Nope, just Barbie going all natural and letting that hair grow. And grow. And grow. It comes with a razor included to make her all silky smooth. She’s got a beard, neck hair, chest hair, leg hair, probably even some butt hair.

She did it Fur Ken. She wants to be fur-ever yours. Damn Barbie. You live in a Malibu beach house so I know you can afford a razor. Seriously, SHAVE and PLAY. In that order. Do not PLAY and SHAVE. This beast needs to be dealt with right now! Even Bigfoot be like, “What? Girl you crazy.”
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Spruce The Sasquatch Doll

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Spruce The Sasquatch Doll
Hey Spruce what up? Everybody, this is Spruce The Sasquatch Doll. Spruce, this is everybody. Now mingle. I’ll get the drinks. So Spruce, why are you named after a tree? Or is because you like to clean the house? You know, sprucing things up a bit? I kid. I kid. Speaking of kids, where’s your daddy Bigfoot? I guess even you don’t have sightings since he’s behind on child support. Zing! Burn! And why do you look like my grandmother? Are we related? I know we have the same amount of chest hair. Not to mention the same caveman IQ.

Haunted “Walking” Possessed Doll Named Amy

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Haunted Walking Possessed Doll Named Amy
Check out this old 50s style doll on ebay. The seller thinks it’s haunted and that it’s a 3 foot tall demon baby:

Since I’ve had this doll in my house, I’ve felt very uncomfortable.

Are you sure that’s not gas. Cuz gas can do that. I have a terrible pain in my side right now that I know was caused by Taco Bell.

I bought this because I thought it was creepy…but I had no idea. The first night it was in my home I had a terrible dream of it walking with a stilt towards my room, and since then I’ve been experiencing extreme dread when I go anywhere near it.

Wait what? Walking with a stilt? Just one? So it was hopping on a stilt making a super loud racket? Are you sure it wasn’t a pogo stick? As for the extreme dread, you might want to consult your hairdresser. I don’t have dreads, but I hear they can be a pain. Maybe you just had too much cough syrup? It happens.

I’ve also heard screams coming from the room she’s in, and have had odd things happening around my home (objects will be moved, fire alarms going off, etc.). I feel that this doll is haunted, but I don’t have anywhere near enough experience to be able to tell anything about it. The only information I have is that I haven’t been able to get the name “Amy” out of my head, so I feel it could be related. Ultimately, I want this out of my home.

This happens to me too. It’s called “being drunk”. I’m kind of a pro athlete at it. The drink will wear off soon enough. Amy is probably the name of your drunk spirit animal. Mine’s name is Clarence. They should totally get together.
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