Category: Creepy Dolls

Life Size Universal Monster Horror Statues

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Life Size Universal Horror Monster Statues
Check out these Life Size Universal Monster Horror Statues from Workshop77. I guess their first 76 workshops got trashed by monsters. My only complaint is that there is no Creature From The Black Lagoon. Actually, my second complaint is that I can see the Invisible Man. He’s right there. Well, he was there a second ago. I swear. Anyway, all of your favorites are here, life sized and scary as the day you first saw them. Put ’em around your house and do the mash. The Monster Mash. It’s a graveyard smash!

Why ya gotta do vandalism? Somebody’s body is resting there.

Shut up hippy.

It’ll catch on in a flash.

What will?

The Monster Mash. I invited the ghost of Johnny Cash. He did the Monster Mash. Wa-oooooo
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Poltergeist Clown Prop Replica

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Poltergeist Clown Prop Replica
Remember that movie Poltergeist? I don’t. I was too drunk, which is the adult equivalent of hiding under the blankets. Something scares me and I go for the bottle. Oh s**t, a spider! *glug, glug, glug.* That’s better. So, this is a prop of the clown prop replica from the Poltergeist movie. It’s pretty scary. *Drinks.* A Poltergeist is a violent ghost. You don’t want any of that. If you kill it, it evolves into a Zeitgeist. I think. Been awhile since I brushed up on supernatural stuff.

All I know is, I saw a completely different movie than you did since I brought my alcohol security blanket. Let’s see if I can remember. Oh, for the first hour I thought it was called Polter-Heist and I kept wondering when someone was gonna get robbed. Turns out, it was me, when I paid for the ticket.
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This Needle Felted Tarantula Is Scary, Hairy Too

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This Needle Felted Tarantula Is Scary, Hairy Too
As if I didn’t have enough things to fear. Why would they create this Needle Felted Tarantula? That is one hairy looking, scary looking piece of horror that is about to get stomped on by my foot. Well, it would get stomped, if I wasn’t cowering in terror right now, hunched over my keyboard inside of a tent. I think I covered every hole big enough for a spider to get through. I used glue, staples, duct tape, a sock and some gummi bears. Why do I even look at the internet?

Fun fact: I used to think spiders ate eyes, because people told me they have eight eyes. Now I honestly don’t know which is creepier. Also once thought they ate people’s legs when in fact they have eight legs. Anyway, I’m safe now in my little sanctuary. Look at that thing. All hairy and gross. What are you Hairy Houdini? I’m not afraid in my tent. Bring it on. You would have to be Houdini to get in here. I- OH F**K! IT WAS ALREADY IN THE TENT!

Cute And Crazy Cthulhu Plush Monster

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Cute And Crazy Cthulhu Plush Monster
Meet the softer side of Cthulhu with this cute Cthulhu Plush Monster. Which is like 100 times better than a Cthulhu Lush Monster. That’s what they call me after too many drinks. This little guy is mean, green and can’t be unseen. I say little, I mean 22″ long. Which is how I wish that girl I picked up the other night had ended her sentence, but nope, she just said it was little and giggled. And left. No, I’m alright. Really I am. It’s not the size of your Cthulhu, but what you do with it right? I shouldn’t show girls my stuffed animals anyway.

So back to this massive and manly raging ancient one. It puts my little one to shame. Anyone would be happy to have a cuddly monster this huge. He’s pretty cute. If I had one like this, that girl would have stayed the night. They say size doesn’t matter when it comes to the monster you’re packing, but we all know it does. I guess some of us have the right monster and some of us don’t. *Sigh.*
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Deadbeat Voodoo Doll: Make A Deadbeat Pay

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Deadbeat Voodoo Doll Make A Deadbeat Pay
If you know a deadbeat, use the Deadbeat Voodoo Doll to make them pay up. This hairy chested deadbeat looks just like the deadbeat that you know, except he has the initials DB on his dirty underwear. Otherwise, it is just like the scumbag you know in real life. Use the included 3 pins to cause some pain and make him pay up. Beat that deadbeat at his own game. Maybe dip those pins in some ink and give him a tattoo. Maybe a nice little tramp-stamp.

*Ding Dong.* Who could that be?

*Opens door.* My deadbeat dad is standing there, with pinpricks all over his body. He hands me some money and is all like, “Please make it stop. I’m making my payments see. Please!”

*Closes door and goes back to the couch. Picks up voodoo doll.* Time to start working on the next payment. *Jab. Jab. Jab.*