Category: Geeky Cool Stuff

Skull Shaving Brush

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skull shaving brush
Use a skull to shave your skull. You hairy-skulled beast! The Skull Shaving Brush is a scary, yet elegant way to shave that man-beard off. Me? I haven’t shaved for like 2 years. I’m going all biblical on your arses. I went outside the other day to fix the walkway and the kids next door were all like, “Hey Moses. Nice stone tablets. You broke your own 1st commandment: Don’t be a fat loser!”

That’s okay, because the night before I did his mom and I’m pretty sure I left her with a burning bush. Also when she got a little rough and squeezed my man junk, I shouted “Let my people go!”

Yeah, so f**k that kid!
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Sharp Act Knife Sharpener

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creepy kitchen knife sharpener
Oh Oh Oh It’s magic… A cutty, stabby, knifey kind of magic. The Sharp Act Knife Sharpener turns knife sharpening into a magic act. Hey, look at me, I’m sharpening my giant steak knife like I’m David Copperfield. OWWWWW! Just cut myself and that wasn’t part of the act. For my next trick, I’m going to the ER to get stitches and since I’m not insured, I’ll make all of my money disappear. It’s magic!

But at least I have a sharp knife.

Magic Wands for Wizards and Witches

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etsy wizard and witch wands
I am so stoked guys. I just ordered a magic wand. I’m gonna call it Wanda, because I’m just not imaginative. Syke! I’m gonna call it my “Wiz Wang”, because I’m sure it will be like a part of me when I learn spells. My Wizard instructor will be all like “Wands up class. This spell is- You, get your wand up and learn this spell. You called it Wang didn’t you? Well get your Wang in your hand and wave it like so. We can’t begin until you get your wang up young man.”

That class is gonna be so awesome and I’m gonna learn how to do all kinds of cool stuff. Me and my Wang all the way. We will be unstoppable. Screw you Harry Potter. Feel the wrath of my Wang!
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Giant Plush Squid With A Drinking Problem

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Giant Plush Squid With A Drinking Problem
This Giant Plush Squid With A Drinking Problem has been sold, which is sad. But if you ask the seller real nice, maybe they will make one for you, that also has a drinking problem.

You have a problem Squid! This is an intervention. Get those tentacles up and give me the booze now! Oh, that was easy. Thanks. I needed this, because I’m actually the one with a drinking problem. *Glog glog* Well, not a problem really. I thirst. I drink. Then I think I have a giant squid in my living room. So I know you’re just an illusion caused by my choice of rum *hiccup*

I am notch drunk. Shut yer squid mouth or I’ll shut it fer ya. Check out dis new sport. Here lemme show ya. Stand still now. Is called Kraken smackin. I’mma mess you up. *Rolls up sleeves*

*Wakes up in the morning to find the whole house destroyed*

I think it’s time to admit that I might actually have a problem. But who the f**k splattered my walls with ink?

3D Printed T-REX Skull Shower Head

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t rex shower head
Make your shower rad and awesome with this 3D Printed T-REX Skull Shower Head. There’s no manlier shower than one that simulates a T-Rex spew-puking all over you. To get you clean of course. Look how sharp those teeth are. If this thing bit me I would be super sore? *How sore?* Dino-sore! Obviously.

I would install this thing in my shower and paint a body behind it so I could get the full effect. Then I would make it so it looks like his stubby T-Rex arms are holding my soap and shampoo. Clean me T-Rex! Clean me! Suds are your enemy! Clean the species who now own this planet and behold our majesty! Arrggggggghhhhh! Who flushed the toilet?
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