Category: Dead Stuff

Small Bone Mirror With Bird Skulls

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Small Bone Mirror
Everyone looks great in a mirror that’s decorated with bones and bird skulls. I mean you look better than the skulls around your face. This Bone Mirror With Bird Skulls goes well with the coffin mirror. A mirror with bird skulls is really something to crow about. I just dove it, don’t you? Everyone is raven about it.

Hey internet boy shut up.

No you shut up. This is a free country and this is a free cafe. Well, not free. I paid for my coffee, so I’m free to blog here all I want and talk out loud while I’m typing.

And I’m free to give you a wedgie just like I did last week.

*Sigh* Yes Biff. I’m leaving now. But not because I’m scared. Not just because I’m scared, but because I can’t afford another pair of undies this week.

Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin

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Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin
Damn. That is one fancy funeral for a dead rat. This Preserved Rat Skeleton In Wooden Coffin makes a nice and morbid decoration. You know what his ghost said when it realized it was dead? Oh rats!

Sssshhhhhhhh!

Sorry. Gotta be respectful of all the other mourners here to pay their respects. Everybody’s leaving cubes of cheese in the casket. Man, the undertaker must have been drunk. I’ve seen better preserved Twinkies after they’ve been left outside for a month.

4 Headed Dark Duckling

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4 Headed Dark Duckling
The quack is back. No, that’s not right. The quack is black. Beware the 4 Headed Dark Duckling. He probably spent his life walking in circles. That would suck having to eat for 4.

This thing is whacked yo! No, it’s quacked yo! It’s actually 4 individual ducks all put together. So this thing is stacked yo! You might say the maker got all his or her ducks in a row. And that’s all the duck comedy I have for today.

Duck Tales…Wooo-ooo!

Zombie Tarot Cards

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Zombie Tarot Cards
Look at the Zombie Tarot Cards. What do you see in my future? Is it bad? Is it the death card? Worse? Ohhhh the undead card. That sounds worse somehow. I’m just gonna shoot myself now, cuz all that walking around that zombies do looks wayyyy too tiring.

The upside is, if the zombies rise up, we can all attach our fitbits to their rotting wrists and brag about all the miles we’ve walked. People would be all like, “Then why are you still so fat?” Two words. Thyroid condition. Yeah, so back off.
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Joker Mouse

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Joker Mouse
Why so serious? Because I didn’t like XM? I don’t know, maybe because there’s a friggin’ Joker Mouse threatening me with a knife? Any other questions? No I have never danced with the devil in the pale moonlight. I have a question. Where do you get Joker cards small enough for a mouse?

Wait there for a sec. I just wanna get my toy Batmobile and my Batman and Robin figures. Then run you over. *Vroom Vroom. CRUNCH* Now ask me why I’m so serious! ASK ME!
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