Category: Just Plain Weird

Scary Monster Marionettes

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Scary Monster Marionettes
Hey guys, let’s put on a puppet show. I know where we can get some cool and creepy marionettes. Marry Annette? I barely know her! Ohhhh marionettes. Now I get it. These Scary Monster Marionettes from CzechMarionettes are like the Muppets on steroids. I don’t mean they’re buff and strong, I mean they’re scary and awesome.

I’m gonna get the two grumpiest ones and have them make wisecracks from the balcony, while the others are on stage playing guitar and stuff. The seller has a bunch of neat marionettes. I’m gonna go make the cardboard sets. You guys come over when you’re ready. Don’t leave me hanging okay?
Scary Monster Marionettes

Scary Monster Marionettes

Scary Monster Marionettes

Scary Monster Marionettes

Scary Monster Marionettes

Scary Monster Marionettes

Scary Monster Marionettes

Set of 4 Minimalist Scary Movie Mask Shot Glasses

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Set of 4 Minimalist Scary Movie Mask Shot Glasses
Give me a shot bartender! I just seen something that scared me senseless and I can’t stop shaking. *Looks around me all nervous. Bartender pours the drink. Sets it in front of me, using a glass from this Set of 4 Minimalist Scary Movie Mask Shot Glasses. I shriek like a banshee.*

Why you screaming?

Because that’s what I saw. The face on the glass! The scream ghost guy!

*He pours another. I scream like Justin Bieber faced with an actual woman.*

What’s your problem now bud?

Tha- That rabbit face on the glass. He was with the scream ghost guy.

*Pours another. I scream.*

What the hell? I gave you a blank glass this time.

*Wipes the glass until it’s clear.* Oh thank god. That smudge mark looked like my ex-wife!

Tortured Eyes iPhone 6 Plus / iPhone 6s Plus Case

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Tortured Eyes iPhone 6 Plus iPhone 6s Plus Case
Looking for a case for your iPhone 6 Plus or iPhone 6s Plus? Well, you found it and it’s looking at you too. Your iPhone is now an eyePhone. The Tortured Eyes iPhone 6 Plus / iPhone 6s Plus Case is a real eye opener. They’ll watch you, you’ll watch them, before you know it you’ll have a crazy staring contest. The winner gets your soul. It won’t be you cuz it’s impossible to win a staring contest against that many eyes. You have to study for years and be a good pupil to win a contest like that.

Enjoy your many adventures with this case. Whatever you do, don’t answer the phone until you see the whites of their eyes.
Read more “Tortured Eyes iPhone 6 Plus / iPhone 6s Plus Case”

Eraserhead Baby Cake

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Eraserhead Baby Cake
Remember that Eraserhead Baby Figure? Yeah, somebody made a cake. Debbiedoescakes made this abomination. I wonder what it tasted like. Does it erase your taste buds? I’m kind of sad I didn’t get a slice. It was probably made for some freaky wedding or something. If that’s the case, you might say that this is the David Lynch-pin in their relationship.

Maybe it was made for a baby shower for a real ugly baby. If I had an eraserhead, I’d be writing in pencil and correcting all kinds of grammar. C’mere you little freak! *Rubs his head against the paper until there’s nothing but a nub left.*

via Dangerous Minds

Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp
Damn, this gargoyle is all like, “Waz up? I have arrived and I’m about to move my wings like a trench coat and flash you.” Enjoy the ethereal light that seems to emminate from his ghostly gargoyle crotch. This Dark Shadows Gargoyle Sculptural Lamp is half evil, half… I don’t know what. I just know I don’t want to see his demon weenie, but he seems to be threatening to show it. Is that a light in your loafers or are you just happy to see me? Both? Cool. This lamp will cast some neat light onto your wall, I just hope it doesn’t cast a shadow shaped like his demonic junk.

Gargamel the gargoyle got gassy and gargled garlic in the great gazebo with Gonzo the ghost guest. I just had to type that. No reason. Glad I got that out of my system. Now my brain will have room for other more important stuff. Despite his glowing nether regions on this lamp, it’s a pretty cool piece of interior frighting. You guy readers should get one. Because every Gar-boy needs a Gar-goyle! I totally nailed that one! Usually I just staple gun it. Or even thumb tack it.