Meet the Babypod. The “tampon speaker”. At least that’s what I’m calling it. It’s a speaker for your lady parts so that your baby can listen to music. Maybe you want your kid to listen to some Justin Beaver. I have no idea. It’s apparently important to turn your body into a concert hall so your kid can chill in his or her womb-room and be all emo.
Category: Just Plain Weird
Creepy Aged Human Skull Soap Lotion Dispenser
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again… You will want to put the lotion on when it comes from this Creepy Aged Human Skull Soap Lotion Dispenser. Mr. soapy skull here is more than happy to pump out the lotion. I would suggest using a red liquid of some kind, so it looks like brains, but that’s just me. I got problems.
Mummified Palmistry Hand
Fun story: I thought I was an apprentice practicing palmistry for like two years one time. Turns out I was actually doing what they call “shoplifting”. That’s why I don’t trust gypsies. Anyway, now I know better. Palmistry also will not make you go blind, no matter how many times you do it. That’s a common misconception. It is the art of evaluating a person`s character or future by reading the palm of their hand. I plan on buying this Mummified Palmistry Hand and making a fortune.
*Puts on my gypsy gear.* Take your hands from your pockets. Let me see your palm. Hmmmm. I sense that you are a craftsman. Do you work with a saw? I see a horrible accident that has claimed both your hands!
What was your first clue? The fact that my wrists end in stumps? Or that I have no palm to read?
I was right! Yes! Hey- Why does a guy with no palms enter a Palm Reading shop? And how did you turn the doorknob and open the door?
*The hand-less man suddenly sprouts hands from his coat sleeves, and rips off his mask to reveal an old and gnarled woman, cackling like mad.*
YOU!
*The crazy woman runs out of the shop.*
Damn you gypsy! Why does this kind of thing keep happening to me?
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Killer Klowns From Outer Space Clown Bust
I’m creeped out by this Killer Klowns From Outer Space Clown Bust. You never want to have an encounter with a tiny UFO that honks at you like a clown car and then lands so a bunch of clowns pile out and act all clowny. Now that’s a nightmare and that’s what killer clowns are all about. Now you can own one of them in terrifying bust form.
When they aren’t terrifying people with their freaky faces, they do kids parties on alien worlds.
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Nosferatu Vampire Bust
This Nosferatu Vampire Bust pays tribute to the 1922 film depiction of the vampire Count Orlok. If you get this thing you will have a lovely bust. I’m not saying you don’t have one already, but nothing beats a big Vampire bust. Spoiler alert: I’m talking about boobs. I’ve seen my share of Vampire ladies so I think I know what I’m talking about. Vampire busts are the best. Way better than Werewolf boobs. Just sayin’.
That reminds me. How do you kill a busty Werewolf? A silver bullet…bra.