Ghostbusters Gourd Sculptures

ghostbusters gourd art
If you don’t like these Ghostbuster’s Gourd Sculptures from Etsy seller Wigoutgraphics, you must be out of your gourd! I’ve been slimed. (Funny Behind the scenes fact: I accidentally wrote, “I’ve been slimmed”, but nope, still have my gut and the doughy body of a nerd God)

The Slimer gourd shows Slimer on the front and in back you can see his brain and ghostly arteries and stuff. If he had such things. The Ungrateful Yuppie Larvae(Not actually me, despite my dad referring to me as such. That’s what the piece is called.) are doing their larvae thing like it’s a womb. Get a womb you two!

If there’s something strange in the neighborhood. Who ya gonna call. Gourd Busters!
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Radioactive Waste Drinking Glasses

radioactive waste drinking
If you don’t like the idea of drinking out of a human mouth, try these Radioactive Waste Drinking Glasses. I’ll have a Three-Mile Island! No, make that a Manhattan Project. Just give me a Chernobyl on the rocks.

I make my own radioactive glasses. It’s called not washing it for several years and then putting it in an industrial strength microwave for like an hour so that thick layer of bacteria glows. It’s a glass and a night light. The nose bleeds should stop eventually and now that the last tooth is gone, I’m spending my dentist money on cool stuff like video games, so I feel like it’s all good.

Now if I could just stop Hulking out when I’m angry, life would be sweet.

Statue With Uma Thurman Feet

uma thurman feet statue
When last we saw Uma Thurman it was as a mannequin wearing a Poison Ivy costume. Now we have this….I apologize in advance for making you look at her nasty, weird, proof of alien life feet. They totally freak me out. Kill Bill? More like kill any pair of shoes. I’m pretty sure they’re still growing.

Anyhow, this Etsy seller has a rare statue with a serious case of Ewwww-Ma Thurman feet. The seller bought the statue feet unseen and then discovered the horror when she received it. Painting didn’t help. It only made the demon feet worse. Now she just needs the feet to beat a hasty retreat from her life. For $11,019.28. The price is totally justified. Kinda like lawsuit money for having to look at those nasty tootsies.

What the hell Uma? Why are your feet like man feet with elongated fingers? *shudders* Do NOT want to play footsie with her. Her toes will put my toes in a toe-lock and break bones.

19th Century Traveling Vampire Killing Kit

vampire killers kit
You may be two centuries too late for this 19th Century Traveling Vampire Killing Kit, but don’t let that stop you. My motto is, “You see a vampire, you kill it!” That’s also my motto for cockroaches and spiders. This kit has everything you need to kill vampires dead. Plus it looks all old timey and awesome.

Reminds me of an old joke I heard once:

There once was a vampire named Mabel, whose period was notoriously stable. One night in June, she sat with a spoon and drank herself under the table.
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Cat Suction Cup

cat suction cup
Cats don’t care. They do whatever the hell they like. When they like. How they like. They are basically nature’s pain in the ass. You can’t even wash a cat without your cat freaking out and jumping out of the bath tub. Until now. The Cat Suction Cup aka “The Cat Stay and Wash” keeps your cat in one place so you can bathe Fluffy. It’s basically a cat restraint system.

This thing is going to come in so handy. First I’m going to take my kitty, Mistress Meowstress for a walk, then affix the suction cup to the outside of a convenience store while I go in and get some chips. Ah, you’re still here. Good kitty. Then we will get in the car and I will attach her to the inside windshield in an attempt to teach her how to be a GPS system and a dashboard ornament. You said right! Why would you say that? We’re lost! I asked, “Should I go right?” and you said, “Meow.” So I turned meow. WTH?