You may not be worried about the government controlling your mind, but dogs know better. Ask any dog and they will tell you that there are humans out there trying to brainwash them and turn them into doggy Manchurian candidates. Just who do you think makes Fido lick his balls so often? The CIA that’s who. And also the cubans who killed Kennedy, who are really aliens from outer space.
Read more “Tin Foil Hat Protects Your Dog From Passive Mind Control”
Category: Just Plain Weird
Creepy Cyborg Barbie With Arm Whipping Action
Barbie is a role model for anorexic girls everywhere. The doll has probably done young girls more harm than a million Miley Cyrus’ twerking ever could. That’s why it would be awesome if the Borg assimilated her. Resistance is futile b*tch. Go ahead and run into your Malibu beach house. They will find you and you will become part of the collective.
Read more “Creepy Cyborg Barbie With Arm Whipping Action”
Holy Jesus Reese’s Pieces
You know him, you love him. He goes by the name Jeebus, Jesus, Son of God, the almighty, the Nemesis from Nazareth and many more. He has turned water into wine, busted up gambling establishments, got sold out for 30 pieces of silver, died for your sins, then scanned his own image on his blankey when woke and moved a great big rock, saying tada I’m resurrected. Aren’t I fabulous? How much has changed while I slept? I see sandals are still in fashion. Judas, you scamp. I’m going to have a stern word for you. I am going to pinch you so hard!
Read more “Holy Jesus Reese’s Pieces”
General Custer’s Head In A Box
General George Armstrong Custer. Or as I like to call him, Ol’ Indian Pin-Cushion Custer. Or Ol’ Porcupine Custer. Back in those days when you saw a white man, you either called him a honky mofo and filled him full of arrows or you lost your land and ended up the last of your line to never be in the casino business. Well, here’s his head. In a box.
Read more “General Custer’s Head In A Box”
My Cat Wants This: Crazy Insane Giant Rubber Band Ball
I just caught my cat pawing at my keyboard and shopping on Ebay. You’d think that I would learn to lock my computer after the $2,000 Fancy Feast incident of 2009, but nope. Now she’s eyeing this huge ass ball of rubber bands for $2,999.00, so she can bat it around the house and set up a trap to make me run like Indiana Jones outrunning the giant boulder.
Read more “My Cat Wants This: Crazy Insane Giant Rubber Band Ball”