Yo, why is your werewolf peeing on my lawn? Holy crap, is he peeing acid? There’s like a 1-foot deep hole in my grass now. Whatevs, a dog wearing that Werewolf Zombie Dog Muzzle pees wherever he wants. It’s not like I need my throat ripped out. Good doggy. *Slowly goes back inside*
Category: Just Plain Weird
Bigfoot Soap Gets You Cryptid Clean
Here’s a good gift for Bigfoot fans. This Bigfoot Soap gives you a nice Bigfoot scene that you can display by the sink. He’s in his natural habitat and you get to stay clean. Pretty awesome. And thank God it smells nice and not like a hairy filthy woods creature who never wipes properly.
Tentacle Pen and Pencil Holder
*Reaches for a pencil as a tentacle hands one to me.* Thank you. Wait, what the f- Yeah, this Tentacle Pen and Pencil Holder is just that cool. It’s got tentacles everywhere and room for your writing instruments. It might even give you a little hand massage if you keep it on your desk.
Make Wire Bat Jewelry
Check out this video to learn how to make some cool wire bat jewelry. I tried it myself, but the end result was just a ball of copper the size of a baseball with 2 ears. I probably shouldn’t let the liquor do the driving during craft hour. Which was actually 4 hours as far as I can tell and involved my pants coming off so I could collage my man-junk.
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Friday the 13th Bloody Jason Voorhees Glow-in-the-Dark Mask Action Figure
Check out this Friday the 13th Bloody Jason Voorhees Glow-in-the-Dark Mask Action Figure. If Jason had been wearing this mask, he never would have been able to sneak up on all of those horny fornicating teens and slash ’em. The mask is removable so you can see the ugly underneath. It includes 10 points of articulation, bloody mask, ax, and machete. It is based on Friday the 13th Part 3. Not the Friday the 13th that just happened on the calendar.