Category: Weird Art

Well This Is Depressing: Your Plane is On Fire and Your Children Are Gone

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

plane on fire artI really don’t like other humans. I do my best to avoid them and I certainly don’t want other humans visiting me in my own home, expecting me to serve them Iced Tea and offer them snacks. I’m pretty anti-social. How to keep them away though… I think I will buy this $5,750.00 oil painting titled “Your Plane is On Fire and Your Children Are Gone“.

Yeah. This should keep my home pest guest free. I’ve only just seen it and I’m already depressed. I wouldn’t want to visit me and see this on the wall.

That dude in the back looks like a young Doc Emmett Brown hitting 88mph. More like 8888mph. The old lady next to him has dropped her pills. No more bingo for her. Little cherub angels are flying around everywhere amid the screams and panic thickened air, darting to and fro, trying to snatch souls. It looks like a couple of them are in a wrestling match. It’s all a freakin’ game to these cherubs. That couple in front, they’ll just sleep through it, even though one of them has clearly brought a dog along. I think the little girl did it. With mind powers!

Man, I am all kinds of depressed now. Mostly because Marty McFly will never meet Doc Brown thanks to this painting. And if that happens, no Back To The Future movies. Great Scott! We have to go back to the past to change this!
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Easter Bunny Crucifiction Oil Painting

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easter bunny jesusHere is an uplifting painting to display during Easter. It stars the Easter bunny as Jesus Christ. He died for our sins. Our Easter sins. Like not buying enough candy for kids baskets and using extra plastic grass so you can skimp on a few sugary peeps. Or buying candy the day after Easter half price. You sinners know who you are. Dad.

Here you see the Jeaster Bunny in three forms for the three days it took Jesus Christ to rise from the grave, according to the biblical text. On the left, the Easter Bunny is happy, standing with his basket of colorful eggs, ready to deliver them to kids. In the center, things take a dark turn, as he is being crucified. Delicious candy Peeps mourn below the cross. Then our candy delivering bunny and savior claws his way out of his grave. He has been resurrected! Hallelujah! And run like hell!

Crazy Goblin Made From Assorted Junk

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

goblin assemblageThis crazy Goblin from Etsy seller laurettacreations looks like it belongs in the Shrek family gene pool. For $2,500.00 you can bring it home and have a neat conversation piece. Conversations like:

Uh, where’d you get that…thing?

Etsy. Jealous much?

No man, I just wondered-

You’re just jealous bro. You wish you had a sweet little goblin like that. I take this little lady with me on all my D and D campaigns. She’s my good luck charm. I always roll crits when I look at that sweet pair of-

You have problems dude.
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Jabba The Hutt Barfing Fine Art Print

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Jabba The Hutt PukingYeah, this will happen when you eat one too many space frogs after partying all night in your palace and betting on Rancor fights. Star Wars fans who enjoy seeing the fattest thing in the Star Wars universe puking his guts out, will want to hang this fine art print in a prominent place in their home. It’s only $17. Maybe you can put it next to that Star Wars: Jesus Dress Up toy that you have displayed.

Just an observation, but, there is no way that toilet is supporting his big fat Hutt ass.

Etsy seller LegendaryTigerHero has all kinds of other weird and awesome art prints too. Click through for a bonus Batman puking his guts out.
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Bigfoot Vs. Alligator Painting

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bigfoot paintingDamn. Bigfoot is in trouble. He’s taking on an Alligator and getting his leg bitten off. Big mistake. Everyone knows that Alligators love Bigfoot meat. Why do you think you can’t find Bigfoot? Because they are in the stomachs of Alligators. That’s why.

It’s the same reason you can’t find Doritos in my town. Cause I already got em. Better luck next time son. Many a man has lost his hand to my snapping jaws as he reached for a bag of Cool Ranch. They had that same look on their face as Bigfoot has here. Nacho day fool!

See what I did there? Doritos make everything awesome and keep bloggers fed for like weeks. Where’s my insulin? Whatevs. Probably in the bottom of this bag. I’ll let you know.