Tag: accessory

Mummy Leggings

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Mummy Leggings
Should you buy these Mummy Leggings? I bet you’re torn. They shred the competition’s mummy leggings to pieces. Just because they are distressed, that doesn’t mean you have to be. It’s an easy choice. You either want to look like an ancient and sexy mummy or you don’t.

Worried about an ancient curse? I’m pretty sure they’re cursed, but in a good way. By you! Cursed like, you’re gonna put ’em on and be all like, “Holy f**k I look f***n’ fine!” Your daddy’s gonna be all like, “C’mere mummy. Give daddy some sugar.”

Vampire Repellent Necklace

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Vampire Repellent Necklace
Vampires hate garlic. That’s why I eat garlic bread every night of the week. Saved my life many times. Like that night I saw a shadowy figure and I hissed like a wild cat, spreading my garlic venom through the air toward him. Naturally, he retreated at the same time I continued on my way. That time it was just a reflection of myself in the store window, but still. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of bites to the neck. This Vampire Repellent Necklace will help too.

Vampires hate garlic and they hate garlic clove pendants. They won’t mess with garlic in any form. That’s why you never see any Italian Vampire chefs.

Pro tip: Always watch who’s buying the garlic products at the grocery store. That’ll tell ya who isn’t a bloodsucker. Anyone that does not buy garlic definitely needs to be followed home and staked. By a professional of course. Don’t try that at home.

Anatomical Heart Vase

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Anatomical Heart Vase
Your honor, I present exhibit A into evidence. An Anatomical Heart Vase. My case rests on one simple fact- The prosecution is out of order! What? No way! I’m out aorta? You’re out aorta! This whole damn courtroom is out aorta!

Sorry. Had to get that off my chest. This vase is awesome. The next time someone tells you to have a heart, just show it to them. Burn! Already got one buddy. And it’s cold and black! Full of flowers too, so I guess it’s warm after all. Kind of a happy medium. Every time you cut the stems on your flowers, you will feel like you are performing triple bypass surgery.
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Classic Monster Cuff Bracelets

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Classic Monster Cuff Bracelets
Allison Taylor Designs makes these Classic Monster Cuff Bracelets for monster loving wrists. They make all kinds of cool jewelry, but we really dig these. I saw these and I was all like, “I’m here to turn myself over to the jewelry police. Cuff me. I’m guilty.” Okay, so they are more for the ladies. Your point? I think I’m man enough to pull it off. Putting it on is another matter! Okay, that joke fell flat. It was just off the cuff. Not really myself today if I’m honest. Need more coffee so I can be more cuff-einated.

Okay, that joke was totally on the cuff, so I ain’t gettin’ in a huff. Don’t believe me? Wanna call my bluff? Just an idiot with a blog, sayin’ stuff. And now, that’s enough!
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Deer Skull Necklace

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Deer Skull Necklace
You are going to get a lot of compliments when you wear this Deer Skull Necklace. Here are just some of the things you’ll hear:

Deer God, that’s a nice necklace.

Be a dear and- Oh my, you have a deer around your neck.

Where ya from? Deerborn, Michigan?

Who are you? The Deery Queen? Can I get a Blizzard?

Well kiss my deery-air, are those antlers?

Dear, can you fetch my deer necklace?(You to your husband)

Nice antlers btw.
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