Tag: animal

Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow Clip Is So Sexy

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Scary Sexy Bat Hair Bow ClipI love a girl with bats in her belfry. Crabs in her crabshack, not so much cuz you need special creams and stuff to stop the itching. But yeah, this Bat Hair Bow Clip looks sexy. Like you are a servant of some vampire. I’ll let ya bite my neck just as long as you leave a hickey, so everyone can see proof that I scored or almost scored. And that moment when you grab this bat hair bow and let it loose? Letting your hair flow down as you shake it free? Oh man. I am so turned on right now. Then the bat will fly off and we will live happily ever after. You’ll nag me about my healthy eating of course and my drinking at 5 AM, and the donuts, not to mention the fact that I just lay there scratching and farting and don’t look for a job, but I know we are going to be so happy together. That’s why I got you this ring. I love you. Was that too soon? Should I have waited?

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Gothic Raven Ring

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Raven Ring
This Gothic Raven Ring is pretty sweet. Squawk! Nevermore! Nevermore! I mean never wore. This ring has never been worn. That I know of anyway. Pro tip: Do not leave this shiny ring out where a raven can get it. They love shiny things and collect them. I had one raven steal a whole bunch of shiny trinkets from me once. Those shiny trinkets were nails holding my house together. So now you know why I’m typing all out in the open, with my walls on the ground around me. God I hate birds!

Needle Felted Tardigrades

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Needle Felted Tardigrades
I’m no scientist, but I have the Internet. That’s how I know that Tardigrades are nature’s microscopic and indestructible killing machines. Killing you with cuteness. What grade do I give this Tardigrade? B+. Would have earned an A+ except that it was tardi. See me after class.

FrivolousForest has 2 needle felted versions of this strange and majestic creature that looks like nature’s vacuum. Are they cute? Sure, but also kinda nightmare fuel. I may be biased though, ever since a gypsy told me that I would die at the hands of a tardigrade 50 years from now. Been waiting and watching for him. I’m ready! I hope it isn’t wearing lace like these guys!
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Glass Octopus Pendants

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Glass Octopus Pendants
Hey Octopus! Your ass is grass and I’m the lawn mower. Wait, is that how the saying goes. More like, your ass is glass and I’m the Glassblower. Haha. Burn! Wait, that really sounds wrong. Anyway, these Glass Octopus Pendants are awesome. What’s Kraken? Hopefully not these guys! They can’t take a hit, cuz I heard they have a glass jaw. I wonder where they’re from. Glass-gow? Enough dumb-(gl)ass Octopus jokes. These glass octopus pendants from EmergentGlassworks are going to look great on you. Especially if you are wearing an ocean themed shirt. You ladies are gonna rock-to-pus this octopus.
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These Cool Monster Mugs Will Bite Your Face Off

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These Cool Monster Mugs Will Bite Your Face Off
Etsy seller MonsterMug isn’t called that because of their acne problem or cuz they are just plain ugly. They may be horrendous. Don’t know, never met them. I’ve heard stories though. But they go by that name cuz they make awesome and scary monster mugs. Kinda like that lady cashier I always run into at the Quicky Mart, except those are monster jugs. Really, nothing at all like that, except that it rhymes.

These mugs are fun and playful, but scary and they look like they want to bite your face off. One question: If I’m drinking out of a monster mouth? Are we swapping spit?
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