The Porcupine Lamp always stays on, cuz I reached up into the shade once to turn it off and I needed like 400 stitches. My electric bill is like 2 grand a month, but it’s much safer this way. If you do cut yourself, at least that curved horn under the shade will channel your blood all in one place for easy clean up though. There’s that. That’s a selling point right there. Oh poopy. The bulb just blew. Time to get my chain mail long sleeved shirt and gloves. Screw it. I’m just gonna get the paper towels and band-aids right now.
Tag: animal
Crazy Larva Mutant
Damn son! You ugly! Real nice. Real mature giving me the finger x6. You are the craziest Larva Mutant I’ve ever seen. What’s up with the area between your stubby arms? It looks like your abdomen is smiling. Twice! And are those three sets of bellybutton pairs? Looks like you have an ugly alien head too. That’s what I thought. Oh well. Nice getting to know you. Now it is time to kill you with fire! No stop squirming. It’s disgusting. It’s all icky and nasty.
Read more “Crazy Larva Mutant”
The Watch Frog Sees Everything
Why does this “watch frog” have it’s eye on me? You spying on me?
Just a lil-ribbit.
Okay cool. You didn’t see nothing right? Just a guy relaxing on a weeknight, watching some Netflix with a rubber chicken nearby. Anyway, watch that eye. You don’t wanna get frog-glaucoma. Hey, here’s a good one.
Why couldn’t the 1/8 Polish guy join the Polish military?
Cuz he was only a tad Pole. Hahahaha.
Nothing to say about that? Frog in your throat? I kid. I kid. Seriously though, stop watching me.*Pulls shade down and grabs rubber chicken.*
Cute Velvet Bat
Damn, that bat is hardcore cute! Put this Cute Velvet Bat in your belfry, car window, pocket, whatever. Who doesn’t love bats? The insects that they eat. That’s who. Otherwise everybody loves a bat. What? You don’t love bats? What’s wrong with you? What, are you batty? This guy looks like a little bat Dracula. Bat-cula.
Weird Doll/Animal Hybrid Figures
These Weird Doll/Animal Hybrid Figures are so f***d up I had to drop my glass of whiskey and get a glass of vodka. What the hell is wrong with you people? Animals and Barbies do not mix! Do you want God to come back and barbecue us all in blazing hellfire? Cuz this is how you get God to come back. Damn twisted Etsy scientists.
Read more “Weird Doll/Animal Hybrid Figures”