Tag: art

The Elderizer Electric Air Freshener

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The Elderizer Electric Air Freshener
Let an Elder Thing keep your area smelling fresh and fragrant. I know, that sounded bad. I didn’t mean “your area”. I mean the room that you are in. Silly guttersnipes. This The Elderizer Electric Air Freshener is the way to go. It brings the horror and the fresh scents. That’s a combo you don’t see every day.

It is based on an Elder Thing, as described in the Necronomicon of Abdul Alhazred, as well as the famed correspondence to Miskatonic University from the Mountains of Madness. If it drives you insane at least your home will smell nice.
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Ancient Vampire Fossil

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Ancient Vampire Fossil
This Ancient Vampire Fossil goes back to the days when vampires had nothing to bite but dinosaurs. That’s how they went extinct. Duh! It wasn’t a meteor. You can see his or her vampire bat wings, the bones, even a tail. All fossilized and ready to display in your home. Some vampire probably fell in a tar pit while trying to bite the neck of a brontosaurus. Brontosaurus moved it’s neck and Vampy fell down. All so you could decorate millions of years later. My math may be off a little.
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Nosfercatu Art Print

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Nosfercatu Art Print
Don’t ever trust those leathery alien-like cats. Here’s why. They’re probably vampires like this guy. This Nosfercatu Art Print is scaring the hell out of me. Stop looking at me like I’m a mouse dude. And where did you even get a coat that fits you so well? You put that paw down mister. You stop teasing your claws menacingly in my direction or Nosfercatu isn’t getting any wet food tonight. Yeah, that’s what I thought!

Spike The Nail Head

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Spike The Nail Head
Meet Spike The Nail Head. A fun sculpture that you can decorate your house with. You know what his dad said when he was born? “Nailed it!” Boy did he ever. He’s cousins with Pinhead, but they had a falling out. You should see their other cousin, Staplehead. They all claim they are Hellraisers, but the only thing they’ve raised is a bunch of heck and kids with various objects in their heads.

Peeker Zombie Head Floor Dweller

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Peeker Zombie Head Floor Dweller
Hey, it’s a peeker zombie. Peek-a-boo. I see you. And by the way, you are bloody disgusting. Good thing I can’t see the rest of you. What’s the deal with like, being half stuck in my floor? What are you, some kind of fetish freak carpet sniffer? Fine by me. Just tell me one thing. I’ve always wondered, do my feet smell like decade old cheese or dumpster Fritos in the summer? EHHH WRONG! That was a trick question. I have it on good authority that they smell like decade old dumpster Fritos topped with cheese.

Whatevs. Just keep doing your thing down there. We’ll see how long you last with your nose stuck in the Frito freeway that is my never washed carpet. Ain’t no off-ramp pal.
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