Tag: art

Retro Nightmare Print

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Retro Nightmare Print
It’s the 1950s. Your wife has just brought you your pipe and slippers. Your daughter just expressed an opinion so she’s on time-out sitting cross-legged on the floor. Life is good. Even if Betty Crocker over there did manage to burn the casserole. Looks like it’s whiskey for dinner. Again. You turn on your radio for an exciting night of imagination fun-time, when suddenly killer mutant spiders attack. They enter through the fireplace and even bring a large mutant housefly. For some reason, your daughter is playing with one. What do you do?

Apparently you just turn the volume up on the radio and try to tune it all out as you knock back a few glasses of whiskey. That’s just how you deal with stuff in the 1950s. Happened to my folks all the time. I was the kid playing with the spider. By playing I mean screaming in terror and asking daddy why he doesn’t help.

I wasn’t nearly as brave as that girl in this Retro Nightmare Print.

Alien vs Pinhead Painting

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Alien vs Pinhead Painting
Aw. Look at that alien getting ready to tuck in Pinhead in this Alien vs Pinhead Painting. Maybe read him a little dead-time story. I had no idea these two were friends. Pinhead has great taste in bedsheets. But how does he sleep without poking holes in his pillow? Guy must go through a pillow a night. Wait. I don’t think they’re friends. I think that alien is gonna eat that pinhead. Well, everything but his head. No way that alien wants to cut up his mouth.

Hush my little Pinhead, don’t you cry.
Alien’s in your room and you will die.
He’s here to pull your face away from your head.
And leave it on the pillow on your bloody bed.

Horror Movie Posters Recreated With Clay

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Horror Movie Posters Recreated With Clay
UK-based artist Lizzie Campbell recreates horror movie posters using polymer clay. Awesome job Lizzie. Some of the recreations here include Nosferatu, Hellraiser, Dawn of the Dead and more. You can check out her website for more.

I’m confused. This stuff is scary is hell. I’ve seen most of these movies from under my blanket fort where I’m safe from the supernatural. But it looks so kid friendly in clay form. I miss that blanket fort. Let this be a lesson to everyone. All it takes is a candle and a stomach full of tacos to create a fiery mushroom shaped cloud in your room. Then ya got no blanket fort and are at the mercy of monsters.
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Varnished Cotton Briefs: Mom’s E.R. Nightmare

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Varnished Cotton Briefs Mom's E.R. Nightmare
When I first saw these Varnished Cotton Briefs, I thought someone had been going through my drawers. Hey, don’t judge. I had an accident at the chocolate factory. The factory was my butt. All of the employees are now laid off. I couldn’t afford all of them working overtime and getting triple pay on taco night. By them I mean the magic gremlins that live in my colon.

This decorative pair of underwear is the crustiest, the most vile, the dirtiest pair of nad covers I have ever seen. Them is some crusty crack coveralls. Seriously, it has real crust. And not the good stuffed crust kind. What is that stuff? This nasty specimen is based on that old gem that mom’s always throw at you before you leave the house. “You better put on clean underwear in case you get into an accident.” Good advice, cuz if you show up at the E.R. wearing these, the CDC is getting involved and whole towns will get shut down. I don’t blame them at all.

This sellers mom never bothered telling them to put on clean underwear. Apparently their mom just tells them to varnish it and put it on Etsy.

Arachno-Crafts: Spiderweb Skulls

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Arachno-Crafts Spiderweb Skulls
Spiders are making skulls now guys! These Spiderweb Skulls are some real web-heads. I’ve heard that if you sit real still, while a spider is on your head, this can happen. The spider is basically 3D printing your head. These come in black and white. Pretty cool.

No, not really. Just the thought is creepy as hell. If you ever go outside and see a spider web in the shape of a skull, run. Don’t look back. Just run and never stop until you get to another state or country. Hopefully a place where they know how to kill spiders. Then alert the authorities about the web, so they can destroy it before the spider turns it into a full fledged skeleton. Because once something like that gets animated through black-spider magic, there’s no stopping it. It’s just a web skeleton piloted by a spider sitting in the cranium area, snacking on a fly, walking through our neighborhoods. Creeping us all the hell out. Before you know it, they take over the world and create a nightmare World Wide Web of darkness and destruction. *Shudders* It can happen. Are you ready?
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