Human Skeleton Playing Cards

human skeleton playing cards
The head bone’s connected to the neck bone. The neck bone’s connected to the shoulder bone… I can’t get that song out of my head now. Well, if you want to learn about bones and win some money in a card game at the same time… Well, that probably makes you a Doctor with a gambling problem, but that’s okay.

Even if you aren’t a fancy Doctor, these Human Skeleton Playing Cards will teach you everything you need to know in case you ever have to do surgery in a grimy back alley, with sirens wailing nearby. Been there, done that! Doodled my way through the court proceedings!

They feature the names of the bones in English, Spanish and French. It’s practically like back alley med school for three different countries!

Human Anatomy Suitcases

skeleton suitcase
Fans of human anatomy will love these cool yet icky looking suitcases from space24retro, showing off the human body and the fact that we are all just bags of meat and bone all walking around looking weird as hell under our skin. The human anatomy suitcase. Perfect for traveling…long trips to the doctor’s office or a visit to the coroner.

Hopefully they don’t provoke the TSA into giving you a firsthand lesson in human anatomy. No one likes the tickle the colon from the inside game.
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Squeezably Soft: Colin the Colon Plush Toy

plush colonNow is your chance to buy your very own plush colon. Just like your real colon, this guy is lovable and squeezable. The only difference is this one is clean, won’t pinch off a loaf and it has googly eyes. Usually, it’s me who gets googly eyes, from straining too hard.

TMI? Deal with it. I name my pooping sessions after the books I finish with each sitting. I just took a huge War and Peace. Lately I’m a big George R.R. Martin fan too. The other day I took a Storm of Swords and later that night, I took a Feast of Crows sized dukie that almost set off the fire alarm. I’m calling this whole week A Song of Grunting and Fire.

This cuddly colon is only $30 from Etsy seller organbank, who makes lots of other plush organs too.

Can You Hear Me Now?: Body Part Earrings Make You All Ears

ear earringsThese body part earrings make quite a statement. They say, “I want- No, I NEED more ears than anyone else. But I only want to dig wax out of two of them.” These earrings are eerie. Get it? Don’t ya just lobe them?

Personal log. Stardate: who the f knows because I sleep in everyday until dark and can’t see the clock radio through the laundry pile… Speaking of ear wax, I’ve just shoved the Q-tip in too far. Again. My attempt at getting enough wax to make an ear wax candle for my Etsy shop is not going well. Not at all. And the voices in my head have started again….

Shhhhhhhh.

Nevermind. False alarm. That was just talk radio being filtered through two pairs of crusty underwear. Is something moving in that pile. *grabs a baseball bat* I’ll be back.

Keester Necklace: The Ultimate Acc-Ass-Ory

keester necklaceThe Keester. Otherwise known as the ass, booty, buttocks, backside, rump, meat seat, tail, cheeks, fanny, buns, the ole juice caboose, or the gluteus maximus. No matter what you call it, twerking would be nothing without it. Now you can wear one on your neck. Above your cleavage. Which also looks like a butt.
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