Just don’t. She’s blind, so there’s no telling what she’s gonna give ya. Maybe a tootsie roll with dog hair stuck to it. Maybe a lollipop with a cigarette butt. Why would you trust a blind witch as your candy source?
Maybe she melted the lollipop and used it’s molten sugar to wax her chin hair, then re-melted it and gave it to you. What are you stupid? Just don’t do it. Heed the weird art my brothas and sistas!
If you want some scary candy, you can make skeleton parts with these Skeleton Molds. Make yourself a skull-sucker, some sour ribs, whatever you want. You can get parts for the upper body and the lower body. I’m gonna make an entire chocolate skeleton. Do you dare me to eat the whole thing? Do you double-dog dare me? Triple-dog dare me? Where the hell did you get so many dogs?
Okay, you had me with the original dare. When it comes to eating chocolate I am in fact Daredevil. Cuz I’m all over Netflix while I chomp away and it looks like Hell’s Kitchen up in here.
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Your favorite Halloween candies are now Zombies thanks to Etsy seller wardrobetheglobe. FYI: I tried wardrobing the globe once, but I kept having to undo that Hawaiian shirt anytime I wanted to see learn about the world.
We have zombie M & M’s (The peanut variety) and zombie Good and Plenty. This candy bites back! I always wanted to dress up as undead candy. Heh. Undead Candy. Sounds like a stripper putting on a Halloween show, but that may just be my meds kicking in.
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Etsy seller GeorgiaPeachdesigns has a real candy shop of horrors, where all of the sugary treats have teeth and bad attitudes. Hey, am I biting you or are you biting me? Stop biting me while I savor your sweetness. This stuff is delicious, but every time I shop here and eat this stuff, my tongue gets all bloody and cut up.
Screw you horror candy. You’re supposed to be a Hershey’s kiss, not a Hershey’s death wish! And you won’t get to the center of that Tootsie Pop. It will bite to the center of you!
Nah. You don’t really eat ’em. They’re earrings and stuff. Frightening!
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These Creature Eyes Lollipops are scary delicious. I see an eye of newt, an eye of Sauron, an eye of the tiger(Gotta work hard to suck that one all the way down. Bonus joke: That’s what she said!) and an eye of horus.
All in favor say eye. *Slams eye lollipop gavel down hard.* The eyes have it. This meeting is adjourned. No wonder we never get anything done.
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