Classic Horror Monster Nesting Dolls

Classic Horror Monster Nesting Dolls
It’s a little known fact that monsters, like birds, love to nest. Except that monsters are so freaky they like to nest in each other. Like these Classic Horror Monster Nesting Dolls. Who knows why monsters do what they do. It’s weird. It’s basically monster sex, which seems wrong. But what do I know? Anyhow, this cool set is going to look great on your desk or shelf.

It includes Frankenstein, Dracula, Phantom of the Opera, The Creature, Mummy, and Wolfman. What’s up with the Phantom? I can think of lots of better places to be a phantom of than the opera. I would be phantom of the Burger King, phantom of the Playstation maybe… Still, it beats being phantom of the Oprah.
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Classic B Movie Film Poster Fridge Magnets

Classic B Movie Film Poster Fridge Magnets
If you like classic B movies, check out these Classic B Movie Film Poster Fridge Magnets from BvdBDesign. They have all of the classics. Just stick them on your fridge and you will be reminded about how awesome they are. Awesomely under budget! If we give good movies an Oscar, we need to give these an Oscar Mayer. That’s a trophy of a hot dog in case you didn’t get it. Nah. I kid. These movies are all awesome.

I only give the Oscar Mayer award to street hot dog vendors that I feel have excelled at their craft and created a masterpiece. No, seriously! I have a whole case of the things. Bought em wholesale. By now every hot dog vendor in the city has one. Everyone’s a wiener!
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Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses

Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses
These Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses from Nyghtwear are scary, spooky and all together kooky. Like me. You can choose from zombies, Edgar Allen Poe, Vampira, Frankenstein and more.

I’m bringing mine to my favorite bar and telling the bartender to fill it up! And by my “favorite bar” I mean the long row of wine boxes on my kitchen counter. By “bartendar” I mean my assorted cats who are always licking at the nipple/dispenser part like it’s a row of mom kitty titties. As usual, there will be none left for me. I’ll just go drink from my water dish. Again! *grumbles* Going to an actual bar.

Edgar Allen Poe me another drink bartender, I brought my own Franken-stein. No this doesn’t have a lid. He flipped it. Been gone for awhile now. He likes to drink deep and forget.

So fill it up high and raise a toast to the world’s greatest monsters. Speaking of which. The wife couldn’t be here. She sends her apologies, but promises to resume her nagging and grunting the minute I get back.
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Classic Monster Dishware

Classic Monster Dishware
This monster dishware from wigoutgraphics is pretty cool. You can serve up monster themed food on them (I’m assuming) like The Creature from the Black Legumes, Frankenstein Franks, even Wolfman Waffles. It’s always a party when you have monster dishware. A monster mash! C’mon you knew that was coming. Oh, that’s awesome. Monster Mashed potatoes!

Classic Monster Dishware

Classic Monster Dishware

Classic Monster Dishware

Movie Monster Ties

Movie Monster Ties
These Movie Monster Ties are awesome. Wear ’em and be all fashionably creepy. I would buy one but I would need my mummy’s help putting it on. And she’s no help at all between the arthritis and all of those bandages on her fingers.

I love my mummy though. Of corpse I do. Why wouldn’t I? Confession time: My dad is the Wolfman (Daddy also might be Dracula. We don’t know for sure.) and me and my brother are twins. In the delivery room they called us a creature double feature. Here’s a poem I wrote about my life story.

After we were born mummy became a rummy who smoked too much and called us dummies.