Tag: classic

Monster Coffin Framed Prints

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etsy monster coffin
These monster art prints from Etsy seller bwanadevilart will decorate your walls in monsters, all in coffin shaped frames. All of your favorites are available like the Wolfman, Frankenstein, Vampires and more. I already have a picture of Frankenstein and his bride. It’s called a wedding photo. It’s super cute. She’s all hissing at me and I just look like Herman Munster, only scared as hell. It was a fun day. The day before I mean. The last day of freedom is always the sweetest. I remember it well. I did the mash. The monster mash! It really was a graveyard smash. Now the wife spends all my cash.

How do I always get sidetracked? ADD? I don’t think so, but how would I know? I would forget, wouldn’t I? Anyway, I better get back to whatever it was I was doing before. Oh yeah. No, that wasn’t it.
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Monster Neckties

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monster neck tie
It takes a certain kind of weird monster to wear a suit and tie everyday and grovel to the man from behind a desk, while whiling the time away and earning that sweet cheddar. It’s not for me. In fact most days, pants and a shirt isn’t even for me. Oddly enough, footy Pokemon pajamas are for me. Like everyday. Ewww. That smell. But they’re so comfy.

Anyway, if you have to wear a tie everyday, try one of these monster ties from Etsy seller tiestory. I’m gonna wear two at once and make it a Creature Double Feature.
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Classic Monster Pin-Up Girls Art Prints

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monster pin up girls
These Classic Monster Pin-Up Girls Art Prints are cute and cartoony. Too bad I’m not flying an old-timey fighter plane over Transylvania. I would totally paint one of these chicks on my plane. It means you have a hot girl back home and you miss them. Kinda like how when I went to college, I painted that Perdue Chicken on the side of my Honda, with one leg up all sexy-like.

What? No I didn’t take any major. I was there to deliver a pizza because of my side job. Boy did I miss chicken that day though. She was there when I got home though. It’s toughest on the ones waiting back home.
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Limited Edition Classic Monster Garter Belt

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universal monsters garter belt
Oh my stars and garters! Whatever that means. All I know is that this Limited Edition Classic Monster Garter Belt is sexy time with monsters, which as it happens is also the name of my new band. Basically the idea is that we get up on stage and dry hump a bunch of monster props. I’m in charge of the mummy and boy am I chaffing right now. Who’s got some Goldbond powder? No one? Itchy itchy ouch ouch!

Since this thing is a limited edition, you know that your girl is going to be one of the select few covering her Universal monster with another universal monster. Aaahoooooo! Werewolves of lingerie Aaahooooooooooo!

Creepy/Cool: Jurassic Park De-Evolution Bust

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jurassic park bustNote to scientists: DO NOT create! This is what happens to geneticists who they get too close to dino-DNA. Still, it beats sharing DNA with Jar Jar Binks. What do you mean Jar Jar isn’t real? I hate him don’t I? He must be real. Anything that annoying is definitely real. Right? What do you mean hate leads to the dark side? Whatevs! This conversation is over. Talk to the lightsaber!
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