These candlesticks are nothing but skull and bones. Somebody feed it! Oh wait, that’s skin and bones. No skin here. I know because I was all like, “Give me five. Slip me some skin!” and then I noticed it had no skin. Then I noticed I was talking to an inanimate object. Then I took my meds and had sleepy-nappy time. The skulls on these Skull and Bones Sculptural Candlesticks look downright angry. Imma make ’em face each other in a badass candlelight grumpy stare-off.
Tag: Design Toscano
Roswell Alien Sculpture
This is an alien from Roswell. You remember that UFO crash? It was in all the papers, until they hushed everyone up and secretly made friends with the aliens, trading Easter peeps for technology. Anyway, this Roswell Alien Sculpture is all like, “Hey man, wasup? We just kinda crashed in your yard. It will take us about 4 hours to fix this old hunk of junk, so in the meantime hows about dropping them pants and lettin’ us probe you? What say you human?”
This thing is gonna look sweet in my front yard once I get some plaster and make him anatomically correct. See why my neighbors love me?
The Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture
Seasons don’t fear the reaper. Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain… I fear that guy, cuz I’m not wind, sun or rain. Although I do break my share of wind both in the sun and in the rain so that others may fear the reaper. This awesome Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture reminded me. It makes it look like the old Grimster is coming out of your wall, bearing a light like he just captured your soul.
Damn dude, why ya gotta bug me while I’m sitting at home surfing the internet? And what’s up with those ribs? You can decide who lives and who dies, but you can’t get a shirt that fits right? Actually, I hear ya on that one. My gut makes it a challenge. No, don’t cry! *Sigh* Fine, you hang right there and we can talk all about it. It’s gonna be okay. Now tell me all about it. There there. Don’t be so Grim! Maybe you should write your feelings down in a book. Maybe a grimnoir? I kid. I kid. You look like death warmed over.
Victorian Skeleton Wearing A Steampunk Bonnet
This Victorian Skeleton Wearing A Steampunk Bonnet is pretty cool. Shelley the Steampunk skeleton sells seashells by the seashore. I just said that fast three times and totally aced it. Yay me! My words are working great today. *Ignores the skeleton and whispers to the bonnet.* Did somebody put a bee in your bonnet? I know right. There’s a b in your bonnet. Get it? A real biatch. Don’t tell her I said so. I just don’t like the way her gears are grinding at me. She scares me.
You’ll go nuts for this statue. And bolts. And gears. And rivets. You got a lot of brass showing up here lady! Get it? Brass? Steampunk and brass? Now I wanna see the Terminator arrive in Victorian London and wed her. Then they could give birth to baby skynet and kill us all. Get on that Hollywood.
Scary Grim Reaper Statue
He reaps what he sews. I’ll say that much for the Grim Reaper. Sorry if that sounded stupid. I’m just acting like I know what that phrase means. He is grim though. Why so grim? You know, you could be a Happy Reaper. It’s all about having a positive attitude. I guess it’s better than being a Prim Reaper. You don’t want to be all prim and proper, otherwise no one would come with you. Say, what are you doing here anyway?…. Oh poop.
Update:
Hey guys. He said he’s gonna let me finish this article before he takes me wherever he’s taking me, because I was so cool with him. It’s really neat here. It’s all black smoke and a void. I’m typing with my mind from another plane. JetBlue I think. Maybe Southwest! Ha. I still got it, even in the afterlife. Plane of existence you dopes.
Anywho’s I meant to talk about this Scary Grim Reaper Statue. I dare you to put it on the back of your toilet and every time you sit there you can act like he’s massaging you. Ha ha ha! He’s not sitting, he’s dead-itating! Ha ha ha ha. BRB guys. Back. He didn’t think that was funny. He’s a real grump. I’ll find my way back to you guys, I promise.