Shark Attack Hoodie Dress

shark attack hoodie dress
Well call me chum and dump me in the ocean! If every shark looked as cute as this one I’d be blogging from a boat and fishing all day long. Are those fishnets she’s wearing with this Shark Attack Hoodie Dress? Very appropriate. And hey, nice back fin! Mind if I swim up beside you and attach myself like one of those weird ride-along fish?

Hey, wanna play Adventure Time? You be Fin, I’ll be Jake. Get it? Fin? I know. I know. Bad joke. Gil-ty as charged!

Okay, I’m out! Gotta call a cardiologist and a weatherman, cuz you a Sharknado and ya just stole my heart.

Nightmare Before Christmas Clothes

Nightmare Before Christmas Clothes
Check out these cool Nightmare Before Christmas Clothes. The nightmare before Christmas is Christmas Eve. You can’t sleep, you can’t open anything. All you can do is lay awake, making your presents soooo much better in your head than they actually are. That’s the nightmare!

I would totally date Sally. The great thing about Sally is that no matter what you say, you’ll always have her in stitches.
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Monster Inspired Dresses

monster inspired dresses
Check out these Monster Inspired Dresses fit for any Bridezilla. The seller has dresses inspired by Frankenstein, Vampires, Zombies and more.

The only dresses they don’t have are ones inspired by my almost-wife. Of course how do you capture a woman approaching the altar screaming and crying at the same time? How do you capture the running out of the church in high heels, not once but several times as she loads up the car with gifts and then drives off, flipping me the finger. I don’t think any dress could capture the scene.

Apparently marrying me cures blindness. Which also cures them of marrying me.
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Dress Of Exploding Horses

etsy paper horses dress
This Dress Of Exploding Horses knocked that woman right on her butt! She had a nice fancy dress on and was just minding her own business, when BAM. The four horses of the apocalypse exploded out of her boobs. Shizz just got real! I think there are four. It’s just a mess of horses all jockeying for position. And now she’s on her butt. That’ll teach ya to be a little girl and dream of ponies. Be careful or your dreams just may come true in unexpected ways girls.

*Changes out of the My Little Pony shirt immediately* What? Best to be safe. I don’t need Rainbow Dash exploding out of my chest like an alien. Friendship ain’t that friggin’ magical!
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Dinosaur Print Clothes: Jurassic Parka

dinosaur clothes
I was looking for a kick-ass T-Rex pair of shorts one day when I spotted Etsy seller Hunterandfoxclothing’s dinosaur print clothes. Apparently they come in 3 sizes. Jurassic Small, Jurassic Park and Jurassic Stadium for those who are the size of a mastodon and really need to lay off the Coca Cola. Nothing is cooler than friggin’ dinosaurs in the jungle all over your body.

Choose from dresses, tunics, shorts, shirts and more. The only extinction level event you need to be concerned about is me buying them all up so I can wear them everywhere and roar like crazy. I’ll need to cut a hole for my tail though.
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