Want some bones for those cold lower digits? These Scary Skeleton Socks will do. You might say they are skeleton crew socks. Get it? I love these socks. I say sock it to me! Are your feet cold or are they skulled? Skulled is better. Okay, don’t skulled me for such a bad joke. I had a pair like this once. I wore them until the bones had holes in them, so I just drank a bunch a milk and repaired them. True story. But I left out the part where I was drunk. And now I’ve shared it. No secrets from you guys, cuz we’re BFFFs. Best Friends For F**ks Sake!
Tag: etsy
Ouija Board For Pets
This Ouija Board For Pets aka talking board will help your dog, cat, lizard and whatever the hell else you have, communicate with you. Or you can use the planchette to talk to your departed animals. Spoiler alert! You know what they all say? Feed me! Dead or alive, they all want the same thing. I don’t need a damn ouija board to tell me what my cat is thinking. He tells me just fine. Scratching up my furniture means he’s an a-hole, coughing up a hairball means he’s an a-hole, not that he’s sick, and jumping on my face in the morning doesn’t mean he’s hungry. He just wants to remind me that he’s an a-hole. That board only needs one large space reading A-HOLE.
Poisonous Creeper Plants
These Poisonous Creeper Plants from HallowedGrave will make your home look all creepy and Beetlejuice like. And they promise not to strangle you in the night or grab your hand when you are watering them. Not that promises mean anything from a creeper plant. Every Creeper is handmade and unique. Plus they come in many different colors. These plants are spooky, people!
If I were you, I would put some googly eyes on it cuz then you could ask it, “Jeepers creepers, where’d you get those peepers?” Of course you would already know, because they came from you. So forget I said anything.
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Vampire Teeth Ring
This Vampire Teeth Ring has got bite! You know that Dracula wears one like this right? But I ain’t tellin’ ya where he wears it. Know what I’m sayin’? What I’m sayin’ is he wears it as a Vampire C**k Ring, or VCR for short. Why ya gotta make me spell it out for ya? Damn. Never ask to see a Vampires VCR, cuz that ain’t a Samsung or Panasonic! What do you mean, how do I know? I just do. I’ve said too much. The point is, you should wear it out in the open so everybody knows. Just sayin’. I’m getting two of these bad boys so I can have a full Vampire jaw on my finger.
Victorian Alien Photograph Art Print
Damn, they really have been here for a long time. This guy really should have put on a bowler hat and a mustache though if he wanted to blend in. This Victorian Alien Photograph Art Print depicts the father of the father of the father of the alien that abducted me last Tuesday. I’d recognize that face anywhere. Nah. Maybe not. They all look the same to me. Is that racist? Alien-ist? I’ll make up for it by calling them Native outer space non-Americans. Cool? Now that your panties are all un-bunched, I wonder if this guy wore a monocle and smoked a pipe. Cuz that’s what mine does. Hang on. You know what? I think I may have been abducted by one of those steampunk cosplayer peeps. So nevermind.