Zootoys has a few of these soft nightmares to choose from. Large Plush Spiders require large plush flyswatters or bigger boots. What has 8 eyes, is completely harmless and scares the bejesus out of me, so that I have to shred it with a knife until it’s stuffing flies everywhere? These things. I don’t care if they are real or plush, spiders is spiders and nature’s scurrying nightmare!
Read more “No Thank You – Large Plush Spiders”
Tag: etsy
Scarecrow Face Warmer Mask
I’m gonna get a Scarecrow Face Warmer Mask and sing in the forest.
I could while away the hours
Conferrin’ with the flowers,
Consulting with the rain;
And my head I’d be a scratchin’
While my thoughts are busy hatchin’
If I only had a brain.
Then a girl from Kansas would spot me. I would turn around and she would scream and run away terrified. Which is cool cuz I’m not from Kansas and I’m not interested in a long distance relationship right now.
Toxic Skull Christmas Ornament
If you want a cool skull for your creepy Christmas tree, this Toxic Skull Christmas Ornament should do the trick. It’s just dripping and oozing it’s toxic goo all over the place. This guy must have fallen into a vat of chemicals. You know what that means. He’s probably going to become the Toxic Avenger now. It melts on your tree and not in your hand. That makes me really want some M & M’s now.
Poop Buddies Forever Coffee Mugs
Are you my poop buddy? I’ll be yours if you’ll be mine. Pinky promise? Gross! Your finger has dukey on it. Anyway, these Poop Buddies Forever Coffee Mugs are perfect for you and your poop buddy. Friends. The buddy system. That’s what it’s all about. It’s all about friends helping friends poop. I think. Maybe it’s about two friends slamming their poop filled hands together to activate super powers. No idea. Maybe it’s about one guy being the lookout, while the other guy drops a Cleveland steamer by the side of the highway. If so, I’m a good friend.
The Highway patrol will never get you for doing the doggy squat while I’m on guard. They’ll get you for indecent exposure and kidnapping instead cuz I don’t know you and I’m just glad to be free and all over the local news. It was quite an ordeal. *tears*. He wanted me to drink from his Poop Buddies Forever Coffee Mug. *sobs* Wrap that rescue blanket around me. Which camera should I look into? That one? *Crying* I just want to go home now. It was horrible.
Felted Bunny Fetus
So….we need to talk about the elephant in the room. And by that I mean this Felted Bunny Fetus. I’m not sure if they ripped it from it’s felted mother or what, but I don’t like it. I think it will give me nightmares. Daymares too. Which are nightmares that come during the day on horses and are twice as bad. Kudos to the maker though. I’ve never seen such quality bunny fetus veins and that is one quality umbilical cord. You make a mean fetus. But not so mean that it’s cursing and belittling me, which I appreciate.