When you play the game of molars, you chew or you don’t. There is no middle ground. Also… Dentures are coming!
Also…. A Lannister always pays his dentist.
This crown of teeth lets you wear some pearly whites on your head, which would feel like your head is in the mouth of some weird beast. Now you know how your food feels.
These Flying Bats Necklaces from BellaMortaJewelry will put a whole bevvy of bats on your buxom bosom. I can practically hear them chittering and flapping their wings as they whoosh away into the twilight. I wish I was one of them. I want to be free like the bat, but every time I sleep hanging upside down I wake up on the floor with a neck injury.
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Beetlejuice. He’s the ghost with the most. Wish he was a game show host. Check out this Beetlejuice family costume. This will get you a lot of candy on Halloween this year. And it beats cutting holes in kids bags and picking up the candy trail. I had that career for about two hours until my chocolate covered face looked up into the light of a policeman’s flashlight. I barred my teeth and growled. Then bolted! Never looked back. But I think the cop slipped a tootsie roll and threw his back out. Cuz he said so between curses.
Damn that kid makes a creepy Beetlejuice! I wanna look like that when I’m an old man.
These travel bags from Etsy seller creatureog are kinda scary and spooky. You carry a bag like this and people will think you are a witch, or a gypsy. Me, I don’t rush to judgement.
What about that time you outed a witch at the grocery store?
Yeah well she got like $700 in groceries for $1.98. Tell me that wasn’t witchcraft!
They were filming Extreme Couponing for TLC.
Witchcraft! And if you say otherwise I’ll burn you at the stake!
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The bats in the belfry and the silver spoon… I think I have that song wrong. Whatevs. I saw these sexy bat stockings and thought of you. You know who you are. That sexy sultry creepbay reader just laying on the sofa in a super model pose, wondering what the crazy creepbay writer will say next. I thought you would look lovely in these. You’ll like them so much that you will send me some fan mail. We’ll laugh. We’ll cry. *shhhhh. Just let me continue.* We will be swept away in emotion….
Then we would have a blind date and I would find out that you are a 600 man wearing sexy bat stockings and stretching them to their limit. You tell me how much you love the website and I puke in my mouth. Then on the table. Then the waiter would ask the two fat guys sitting awkwardly in silence for their order. I would excuse myself and escape. Then go home and cry.
Yeah, so let’s keep things professional here. I just thought you gals would like these. No need to thank me. No need for fan mail. *Shudders. Drinks some alcohol. Pukes a little.* We’re all just friends here.