Tag: eye

Victorian Eye Rings

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Victorian Eye Rings
Victorian Eye Rings. No, not rings for your eye. I don’t even know how that would work. No, I mean rings that are eyes. These are super awesome too because you can be all like, “Give me a knuckle sandwich will ya? I’m gonna give you 5 eyes to the face sucka!” Cuz I would have one on each finger. I’d run my tongue across all of them before I punched the dude too, cuz you have to lay on the creepy and psych him out.

Hey, what’s with that third eye in the pic? Is it okay? Looks like it has glaucoma. Looks like we have a Third Eye Blind concert. You walked right into that one. Not really, I kinda put you on a conveyor belt and waited patiently. Who says we can’t all see eye to eye? Put on your eye rings and give me a fist bump.

Evil Eye Lamp

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Evil Eye Lamp
Hey, it’s the all seeing eye. Isn’t that what’s on the dollar bill? Also, the Illuminati uses it to indoctrinate those of weak mind. Illuminati? Nah. Illumi-nutty! No way they exist. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. My head is in the sand. Firmly. No need to come after me. We cool now? Aight!

Okay. Then this Evil Eye Lamp is pretty awesome. It has color changing LED’s and it promises not to hypnotize you and make you do crazy stuff. But it will remain bloodshot because it has no eyelid to moisten it. Plus, maybe it has allergies.

Creature Eyes Lollipops

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Creature Eyes Lollipops
These Creature Eyes Lollipops are scary delicious. I see an eye of newt, an eye of Sauron, an eye of the tiger(Gotta work hard to suck that one all the way down. Bonus joke: That’s what she said!) and an eye of horus.

All in favor say eye. *Slams eye lollipop gavel down hard.* The eyes have it. This meeting is adjourned. No wonder we never get anything done.
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The Visitors Are Not Our Friends: Lizard Eye Sunglasses

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lizard eye sunglassesThese lizard eye sunglasses will make you look just like our reptilian overlords. You know, the ones secretly in charge of the shadow government. I assume that means that a bunch of bureaucrats are huddled in some dark room doing paperwork by flashlight. I have no idea. But I do know that the lizard people are sending messages to me telepathically via microwave transmissions.

Now they will think I am one of them. Sweet! I’m in the secret society! I will get one on live streaming and rip his fake human skin off in front of millions. The visitors are not our friends!

Then of course they would eat me. Maybe. I’m counting on the fact that I am pumped so full of GMOs and pesticides, that I will take some with me.