Tag: fast food

These LEGO Fast Food Buildings Are Making Me Hungry

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

fast food lego buildings
Etsy seller ABSDistributors makes all kinds of cool custom LEGO toys, but the best are these fast food buildings, so your minifigs can go in and eat, get all fat like Americans do. Hey, I’m not knocking it. I’m an American and I’m stuffing my face as I write this, even if it is hard to see the letters on my keyboard thanks to a thick dusting of Cheeto particulate.

They have replica interiors and everything. Once you put your minifigs inside that McDonalds, it will be so realistic that you’ll be complaining about how the kid behind the counter is a dumbass and why is it taking a half hour for one Big Mac and an order of fries anyway? Look, can I speak to your manager? I can’t play with these things. I’m getting way too stressed just thinking about it. WTF! I didn’t order a Sprite! My whole day is ruined now. Why is it so hard to get the order right?

That’s it! I’m dismantling the whole damn thing and putting up an Arbys.
Read more “These LEGO Fast Food Buildings Are Making Me Hungry”

McDonald’s Is Selling Secret Big Mac Sauce On Ebay

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

big mac special sauce
So McDonald’s secret sauce is currently up for auction on eBay. I guess the obesity epidemic, as it is, isn’t obese enough for them. McDonald’s patrons only get exercise walking from the car to the counter before they get stuck in those booths and then kids start throwing nuggets at them for all eternity. Now they are bringing the secret whale sauce to the internets so you can order from your hospital bed.

It’s actually for charity. Not that this will stop Ronald’s soul from rotting in hell with Grimace and the rest of the gang, but it’s a start. Bidding is up to $23,100.00 AU for this bottle of diarrhea dressing.
Read more “McDonald’s Is Selling Secret Big Mac Sauce On Ebay”

Crocheted Cowburger Amigurumi

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

crocheted cow burger
This cowburger amigurumi looks delicious. He’s on a sesame seed bun and everything. He even has a nice blanket of cheese on top, oozing over him and keeping him warm. I’d eat this guy in one bite. In fact, I’m pretty sure you can get this from Burger King’s secret menu. Just ask for “the whole moo-moo”. You’ll hear some moans and screams as it is being turn away from it’s mother, followed by a thud as it is slapped down into the bun.

Hold him tight and don’t let him escape by jiggling those buns. On the plus side, he makes his own secret sauce. Ewww!
Read more “Crocheted Cowburger Amigurumi”

Cheeseburger Wristwarmer Set

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cheeseburger handwarmer
This cheeseburger wrist warmer set will keep you warm in cold weather, which beats buying like 4 Big Macs and stuffing them into your coat for warmth. One under each arm pit and two in this special bra I made. Go ahead and laugh, but I’m warm and toasty, even if I do smell like substandard meat all day. I also get a 6 pack of Chicken Mcnuggets, but I ain’t saying where I put those.

I would totally rock these, but I don’t see any pickles. You gotta have pickles.

This Is Why You’re Fat: Car French Fry Holder

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

french fry holder
Why stop eating french fries just because you are driving? Texting and driving? That’s just crazy. But eating fries and driving is no problem apparently. Guys, if I get into a car accident and I see fries flying everywhere, I’m gonna know why you crashed into me. Because you have a Car French fry holder and were stuffing your face. And I’m gonna use it as evidence in court to make the judge send your french fry loving and driving butt to Jenny Craig.

And as we are comparing insurance info, don’t try to claim that the fries that flew into my car are yours. They’re not. And you don’t need ’em tubby!