Tag: furry

This $15,000. Monkey Bike Is Bananas

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monkey bicycle
A planet where apes have evolved from Schwinns? Get your handlebars out from under me you damn dirty ape! This crazy Simian Schwinn is bananas. It’s nuts!

The only thing the seller says in the ad is to not get it wet. I can only guess it turns into some weird monkey-gremlin mode of transport in the rain. I promise not to feed it after midnight either. Can I just take it for a spin? I’m digging the whole chimp head hood ornament thing and the banana where a reflector should be. I shall name it Dr. Zaius.
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Faux Fur Wine Bottle Covers

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faux fur wine bottle
These Faux Fur Wine Bottle Covers are furry and soft and they’ll make you want to cuddle your wine close and cozy up with it on cold nights. Which I do anyway. Sure I could join AA, but last time I went they just talked about cars and road safety. That’s AAA you idiot! Shut up. You’re just a sponsor locked in a closet. You ready to have that drink with me, or are you going to sleep without dinner again tonight?

You get a set of 3: Snow Leopard, Possum, and Lynx.

Custom Star Wars Ewok Heels: Jub-Jub

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ewok shoesStomp all over the Empire with these Ewok shoes. They are so comfortable that they are easy to Endor. See that? I’m an awesome blogger. Just Wicket at what I do. These shoes are awesome. Just put these babies on and start poking stuff with a stick as you make jub jub noises.

If you buy these, please take a video of you stomping a bunch of Stormtroopers and an AT-ST. Or at least kick some dude dressed in Stormtrooper armor. Ewok shoes are made for fighting and that’s what I want to see.

Crazy Monster Hat With Claw Mittens

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monster hatThis awesome $129. monster hat is just waiting to transform you into a furry three-eyed monster so you can go all om-nom-nom on somebody. It comes with claw mittens so you can go all Wolverine on your prey too.

I have to say, this is the cutest monster I’ve ever seen and I applaud the choice of bra over a furry chest piece. You can hide under my bed any time you want. Just don’t attack while the bed is rocking. Wait 30 seconds when you hear me reach for a kleenex. Otherwise things could get awkward.

What? I have a cold. Been coughing a lot and rocking the bed. These fits usually last about a minute and happen once a night. I’m a sick sick man.
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Monster Face Ear Muffs

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monster ear muffsWhat? Say it again, louder! I can’t hear you over these monsters growling in my ears! When they aren’t growling they are making chewing noises. Put a monster face on each ear with these monster ear muffs. Monster fur has been known to keep your ears toasty as a Pop Tart.
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