Tag: furry

Adidas Tiger Tail Sneakers: Catch The Tiger By The Tail

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Adidas Tiger Tail Sneakers Catch The Tiger By The Tail
These Adidas Tiger Tail Sneakers will finally let me live out my dream of catching a tiger by the tail. You do that with a real tiger and the tiger catches you by the hand and leaves ya with a bloody stump. Sadly, they aren’t my size. They’re for kids, who get all of the cool stuff. It really bums me out too, cuz my dream was to wear them while eating some Frosted Flakes. Mom would ask me if I liked my new shoes and I would shove my spoon hand in the air and yell, “THEY’RE GREAT!” then act like it never happened.

Oh well, you can’t live out all of your dreams. I feel like I’ve already accomplished a lot just by rising to the heights of “professional fat nerd blogger in underwear”. Wasn’t easy to get here either. Had to make a lot of sacrifices, like friends, love, thinness… Yeah, that’s why. Just leave it okay! I don’t want to talk about it. It IS NOT the Oreos! Anyway, a tiger doesn’t change his stripes. Well, not unless he has some spray paint.
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Ewok Jumpsuits: No Head Needed

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Ewok Jumpsuits
Get your Yub Nub on with these cool Ewok jumpsuits and then take your head off and freak people the hell out. These jumpsuits look creepy as hell with no head. Being a furry has never been so fun. You know, a furry, these people who like to dress up like furry animals and rub all up each other while quoting My Little Pony episodes or something.

Why did they blur out the hands and feet? Were they really afraid they would be recognized? Were they worried that a match would come up on the hands and feet database?

Home Decor From Hell: Demon Skin Rug

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Demon Skin Rug
This Demon Skin Rug really ties the room together. And insures that no one ever enters that room again. Sure, it’s dead, but dead bees can still sting ya. I ain’t takin’ any chances. Look at the tongue on this thing. And the teeth.

Check out the images below to see this thing all laid out on a covered hot tub. That’s exactly where I would put it too if I wanted people to stay out. It’s as good as a sign that says, “this hot tub is protected by Satan and his minions.”

It’s expensive, but the seller says that it can be purchased on “LAY” away. They made a funny. Which I would find hilarious if I weren’t so scared.
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The Not-A-Cat: It’s Not A Cat

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not a cat stuffed toy
The Not-A-Cat is not a cat. It just looks like a cat. Maybe you are allergic to cats or can’t afford to care for one. Well, now you can have Not-A-Cat. And just like a real cat, this thing will sleep all day and ignore you. The idea is that this lump of fur looks like a sleeping cat. You can stuff it into the corner of your couch and it will make it look like you have a real honest to glob cat, when in reality you have no one and nothing that cares for your company.

It’s not a cat. Just so we’re clear. It never claimed to be. It never will. It just wants to fill that lonely void in your life.
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Furry Cat Clutch Bag

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furry cat clutch purse
This cat clutch bag looks like a show cat had a date with a steamroller. Minus the bloody organs and tire tracks of course. It’s purrfectly pink and you girls will want to get it right meow. It’s a great accessory if you are having a Fancy Feast at a restaurant or just sitting at home eating a tuna sandwich while sighing as you watch your 70 cats go about their business of coughing up hairballs and pooping to the gentle sounds of Maury Povich on the TV.

Just one more cat can’t hurt. It’s just a clutch purse. It’s not like you have a problem. You can stop at any time.
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