Tag: halloween

Mounted Vampire Bat Head

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Mounted Vampire Bat Head
This Mounted Vampire Bat Head looks good on my wall. I just like that-

*Ding-Dong*

Oh, my pen-pal has arrived from Transylvania. We’ve been writing each other for like 4 years. It will be so good to meet him.

*Opens door*

Good even-ing! I am Count Tofour. You must be the fat blogger I write to for amusement.

Sure am. Here, sit down. Dinner is almost ready. Nice to meet you Count.

Watt is this Bat head zat is mounted on wall? This I do not like. It offends me. Tell me, you are truly tested for clean blood as you said in your letter?

Oh yeah. Clean bill of- AHHHH Get off me.

How dare you decorate with the head of my brethren! I come long way for snack. You are, how you say? Big fat buffet! *Sinks teeth in.*

Necronomicon Leather Book Purse

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Necronomicon Leather Book Purse
Remember kids, reading is fundamental. But reading the Necronomicon is just plain mental. This Necronomicon Leather Book Purse is a good way to get yourself in trouble. Maybe it makes the whole world zombies. Maybe it opens a portal so that Cthulhu and his kind can enslave us all. Maybe it creates a world where dogs and cats get along. Whatever happens, nothing good is gonna come out of this book/purse.

Ohhhhh, except for that lipstick. That shade is to die for. Where’d you get it? I wish I could wear that, my complexion is just too pale. You go girl!
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Dental Phantom Accent Lamp

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Dental Phantom Accent Lamp
Beware the Dental Phantom… I guess cuz he’s just plain nasty and eats light bulbs. This Dental Phantom Accent Lamp is some really freaky interior frighting. He’s got a chrome dome and an appetite for light. These things were used to teach dental students how to turn your teeth into stuff like, yachts, fast cars, summer homes, blow, prostitutes and bail, for those nights when it all goes to hell. Now it’s a lamp that gives you nightmares.

Gothic Snake Ring

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Gothic Snake Ring
Why did it have to be snakes? I hate snakes. Especially goth snakes. Oh wait. I read that wrong. It’s a Gothic Snake Ring, not a Goth snake ring. I thought the lack of eyeliner and general lack of emo tendencies was a little strange. I don’t really hate snakes. I like ’em cuz they make cool jewelry. I just hate when you encounter them in nature. Good thing for me I never go out into “nature”. I’m paler than a redhead living in a cave. I had some plastic plants once and that’s the closest I ever got to nature. So I’m not afraid of no snakes, Goth or Gothic. Or even Gaelic.

Sugar Skull Wine Glasses

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Sugar Skull Wine Glasses
Damn, these Sugar Skull Wine Glasses are bright. It just went all technicolor up in this biatch. Oh, that’s just my dream coat. Is it the Day of the Dead already? I can never keep track. I guess it’s everyday when you have these glasses.

Dia De Los Muertos!

What did you call me? Yeah, that’s what I thought.