Show some backbone. These Vertebrae Tea Light Candles will help. They go well with Vertebrae Shot Glasses. Just be careful, this is one time when a slipped disc can burn the house down.
Light these candles for a romantic evening. Then say, “Baby, you set my spine on fire.” To which she will say, “What the hell is wrong with you?” And you will be alone. Again. With your still burning candles.
I’m puttin’ this Realistic Spider Costume in my bugout bag. Then ya know what I’m gonna do? Bug the hell out! You can not swat me! No sticky trap can stop me. No can of raid can spray me. And I’m way too damn big to put under a cup, while you slip a paper underneath so you can take me outside. I am the god of spiders. Come to me my 8-legged minions! Flock to me and rule the world at my side from my gi-normous web of doom. Tonight we dine on human-sized cocoons.
*Sees a carpet of spiders skittering and approaching me from everywhere.* Uh… Wait! On second thought, no. I don’t want to be the god of spiders any longer! *Screams like a girl and ditches spider costume while I run away crying.*
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Do you think that Werewolves all wear stuff like this cool Moonlit Cliff Werewolf Pendant, so they can spot each other and know that they are all Werewolves? I only ask cuz some nights I get crazy and tear through a whole rotisserie chicken with my bare hands and they have to lock me in a cage for the night. Also I’m hairy. People say I’m just hungry and fat, I say I’m a werewolf. Then I slash them with my claws and run off on all fours howling. Then I wake up naked the next day, but that’s only because I’m a free spirit.
It’s an endless battle with the moon. Speaking of the moon, I find that the moon acts childish. Oh well, probably just a phase. Once a month the moon gets so full of itself. It’s so vain. Anyway, here’s a song for the moon:
You’re so vain
You probably think this post is about you.
Don’t you?
Don’t you?
I got chills when I saw this Crazy Bones Skeleton Dog, cuz I thought yet another animal that I buried was coming back from the pet cemetery. I think I’ve had enough. I only have room for so many skeletons in my house and the neighbors are starting to wonder why I take skeleton dogs for long walks. Also, every time the doorbell rings, they all have to freeze and act like they’re supposed to be taxidermy decorations. Once the door closes again and I come back in the room, it’s like a moving mass of bones everywhere. Cat skeletons climbing all over me, dog skeletons sniffing each others bone-holes, turtle skulls going back in their shell, parakeet bones flying around…
It all started with a dog hit by a car and an ancient burial ground. I may have also hired a witch and made a bad deal.
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This Coffin Jewelry Box is the perfect way to bury, I mean store your spooky Gothic jewelry. You can say a eulogy every time you open it up and throw a piece inside, with hand on heart. I would put a creepy doll inside to scare whoever opened it, but that’s just me. It looks good enough for a small body, so it should be good enough for your jewelry.