Bob’s Skull From The Dresden Files

Bob's Skull From The Dresden Files
Hey Bob. What’s up? This is Bob. Bob is a skull. Bob has all kinds of freaky magic voodoo writing on his skull. I’ve never seen the Dresden Files or read the book, but I’ve always admired Bob here. I’ve been working for weeks, scraping designs in my scalp with a screwdriver so my skull can look awesome after I die. All I got was a headache and the X-Ray shows that I accidentally drew something like looks like the devil playing tic-tac-toe.

Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons

Sewn Bones Plush Animal Skeletons
Floozey (Hey,didn’t we meet in a seedy bar one night?) makes these cool, cuddly and creepy Sewn Bones: Plush Animal Skeletons. Experience the softer side of skeletons. You can choose from rats, a two-headed Pug, a Dragon’s head and more. At least these bones will never be broken.

I’m gonna get the rat and name it Cal C. Um. Maybe I’ll get the Pug too and call their heads Ribby Allen and Mia Marrow. Hell, I’ll just have a plush menagerie of bone pets.
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Frankenstein’s Monster And The Bride Of Frankenstein Pillow Cases

Frankenstein's Monster And The Bride Of Frankenstein Pillow Cases
What a lovely couple. Let’s hope they don’t reproduce. But enough about me and my wife. These Frankenstein’s Monster And The Bride Of Frankenstein Pillow Cases are the perfect gift for that couple that has a monster of a marriage. I would put these on my bed, but it already looks like that when we are both laying there seething at each other.

You monster!

No, you’re the monster!

I’m Doctor Frankenstein so you must be my monster!

If I’m the monster than you are the bride of the monster!

You’re the monster! Infinity!

Gothic Coffin Coin Purse

Gothic Coffin Coin Purse
Some of you Goths are starting to get up there in age. It happens. Well, now you can be that cool old lady with the spider and death tattoos who carries this Gothic Coffin Coin Purse and takes forever to pay. I’ll be the guy further back in line making the comment about how Stevie Nicks didn’t age so well. Feel free to step back and punch me. What do you mean Stevie Nicks isn’t goth? Oh well. Goth, Gypsy… It’s all the same to me as long as you keep those caravans off my lawn and don’t steal any of the neighborhood children.

That reminds me of a good joke. What kind of computer does Stevie Nicks have? A PC? Nope. A Mac. A Fleetwood Mac. I’m a riot. That’s probably why the cops show up so often.
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Black Death Soap

Black Death Soap
Black Death Soap. Do you use this to get rid of the black death or do you get it from the soap? I have no idea, but I know there is a plague doctor right on front. So I know it’s plague doctor approved. I’m just not sure what his intentions are. What kind of business does he have his beak in now? You can’t trust them. I heard if you let them peck some seed out of your hand, they’ll give you the really good medicine. You know what I’m talkin; bout! The good stuff. Black Plague or not, you will be on cloud nine, and you won’t care what happened to clouds one through eight.

I’m talking Robitussin obviously. Which goes by the street name ‘Tussin. Also Nyquil. If you’re anything like me, after two doses you won’t care that the bird in that rainy back alley behind the Quickie Mart isn’t a real plague doctor. You’re just happy he prescribed the good stuff.