Tag: halloween

Ouija Board Coffee Table And Carpet

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Ouija Board Coffee Table And Carpet
Sadly I can’t buy this cool Ouija Board Coffee Table And Carpet design, but if I could, I would wait patiently for Mormons, Jehovah’s Witness’ and other assorted door to door creepers, and invite them in. Yes you can tell me all about Jesus. Sit and have some coffee. I’ll go brew some.

*Flicks switch, activating the ghostly voices in the hidden speaker system. Also grabs the remote control which activates the wheels I installed on the planchette. Watches on the monitor as I make it spell out G-E-T…T-H-E…F**K…O-U-T!*

They run screaming.

That was fun. Now to post it to YouTube.

Gold Gilded Bat Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gold Gilded Bat Necklace
Sweet! A Gold Gilded Bat Necklace. I’ve read all of the folklore, researched every legend surrounding this artifact. Now it’s mine. *Moves my hands like Indy trying to judge the weight of the golden idol.* OW! Damnit! Hurt my hand reaching into the screen, trying to snatch it.

Seriously though, the legend of the Gold Gilded Bat Necklace goes way back to Bab-Bologna-ian times. It was first worn by Bertha Batty Butt, bat-nosed Queen of a long forgotten dynasty. She ruled with an iron fist, a big butt and an army of bats, who also had big butts. It impaired flight. Probably why her rule was so short.

See, it’s not always about me being stupid. Sometimes you learn stuff.

Skull Leggings

Artemis Winterford3 Comments

skull leggings
Holy Coca-Skulla those are some nice legs. Not bony at all, which is surprising when you consider those fine Skull leggings. Is it hot in here or is it just me? Are you hot blooded, check it and see. Do you got a femur of a hundred and three? See what I did there? That was a little classic rock humor.

Foreigner right?

No, I was born here. zing! Anyway, I’m gonna make like the blogging DJ I am and leave ya with a classic from The Kinks.

I met her in a club down in old Soho
Where you drink champagne and your leggings are full of skull-las
S-K-U-L-L Skull-las.

She walked up to me and she asked me to dance.
I asked her name and in a dark brown voice she said, “Skull-la”
S-K-U-L-L Skull-la, ska ska ska ska Skull-la….

Gothic Skeleton Hands Bonnet

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Gothic Skeleton Hands Bonnet
Keep your bony hands off my hat! Oh yeah. Sorry. Those are supposed to be there. I’ve heard of having a bee in your bonnet, but I’ve never heard of having bones in your bonnet. Until now. This Gothic Skeleton Hands Bonnet is hands on. Heh. Hands on. I’m such a card! It is hands down(On your head) the winner of my annual bony-bonnet contest.

I like it. Scary, yet classy. It’s all Little House on the Haunted Prairie. Now that is a television reboot that I’d like to see. Let those pioneer folk see how they do against zombies and ghosts and stuff.

Finders Creepers Horror Figurines

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Finders Creepers
Jeepers creepers, check out Finders Creepers. They have cool one of a kind horror figurines that are like your grandma’s figurines, but not so nice after they have had a makeover. You can choose from Lizzie Borden, aliens and other assorted creepers.

Did Lizzie Borden do it? Duh! She had an axe to grind.
Read more “Finders Creepers Horror Figurines”