Tag: halloween

Chemtrail Carl Latex Halloween Mask

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Chemtrail Carl Latex Halloween Mask
Hey Chemtrail Carl. What up? What’s all the puss? Ha. You know, cuz you have all of those blistery puss sacks on your head. Why ya staring at me with that one big eye? Giving me the stink-eye are ya? Maybe not. I don’t think that stink is coming from your eye. You need a bath dude.

You can be Chemtrail Carl for Halloween this year with this latex Halloween mask. I recommend not bathing for like a month just to be completely authentic. I know cuz I always run into this guy in the 7-11 parking lot.

Coffin Couch

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Coffin Couch
When you’re dead tired, relax on the coffin couch. You spend most of your time on the couch anyway. They might as well bury you in it. Just binge watch your favorite show and then close the lid for a nap. When it’s time for a longer nap, like a dirt nap, just have some friends pick the whole thing up and throw it in a hole in the backyard. Just like how I buried my pet parakeets. Only, you know, like on a 100X larger scale.

Vampire Teeth Tights

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vampire teeth tights
If tights could talk, this one would say, “I vant to bite your butt!” Now that’s something to sink your teeth into. These Vampire Teeth Tights are adorable. Perfect for Halloween or just everyday creepwear. I gotta say those are some long legs. You can’t hear me, but I’m doing cat-calls right now and woot-ing it up!

Actually calf calls would be more appropriate since we’re talking tights. You got some nice calves and I ain’t talking baby cows. That lady over there? She’s got nice baby cows. You have nice calves. And that’s no bull.

Evil Eye Lamp

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Evil Eye Lamp
Hey, it’s the all seeing eye. Isn’t that what’s on the dollar bill? Also, the Illuminati uses it to indoctrinate those of weak mind. Illuminati? Nah. Illumi-nutty! No way they exist. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. My head is in the sand. Firmly. No need to come after me. We cool now? Aight!

Okay. Then this Evil Eye Lamp is pretty awesome. It has color changing LED’s and it promises not to hypnotize you and make you do crazy stuff. But it will remain bloodshot because it has no eyelid to moisten it. Plus, maybe it has allergies.

Crazy Halloween Cat Doll

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Crazy Halloween Cat Doll
Halloween cat doll.
Hear her roar.

Got her own pet name.
It’s Pussums Galore.

Got her own montage.
This feline is the shizz.

Steppin’ to her box.
Gonna take a whizz.

I have no idea what this is. It’s a “Halloween Cat Doll”. Shown in a nice montage. She appears to have a decorative staff in one hand and a pumpkin in the other, so she’s ready to kick butt.
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