Tag: halloween

Bone Appetit Anatomical Housewares

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Bone Appetit Anatomical Housewares
*Snooty rich voice. Nose up in the air.* When I ordered a plate of ribs this was not what I had in mind good sir! Yes, yes. Your apologies are like sauce on my non-existent man food! I wish to speak with the manager. What? Free meal for my trouble? The hell you say! Well, I never! Maybe just this once. I’ll take double what I ordered before.

Check out these Bone Appetit Anatomical Housewares pieces. This bone china from foldedpigs has bones on it! And other human anatomy parts. How do you fold pigs anyway? Very carefully. I usually show them a pair of aces and they fold like fresh laundry. I hear these plates are a real squeal by the way.
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Undead Graveyard Zombie Toilet Paper Holder

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Undead Graveyard Zombie Toilet Paper Holder
*Looks at the Undead Graveyard Zombie Toilet Paper Holder. Too lazy to reach.* Yo Undead Ed over there! Close your rotten mouth and quit gawking at me. Hand my some crack-paper. I need like 10 sheets. This is the kind of paperwork that keeps me working after hours and I ain’t gettin’ no time and a half. That thing was like a loaf and a half cuz I baked it all day and just now pinched it off. Whew! I really need a fan in here.

No? You’re just gonna stare. Fine, I’ll get it myself.
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Spooky Embossed Rolling Pins For Halloween

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Spooky Embossed Rolling Pins For Halloween
I love cookies. I’m a real cookie monster and not just because I have blue fur and googly eyes. I just love ’em. So maybe I can get my wife to buy these Spooky Embossed Rolling Pins For Halloween from AlgisCrafts. Even if the wife doesn’t bake any cookies, it will make a nice change of pace having all of my bruises in fun shapes like skulls, bats and spiders.

They have all kinds of rolling pins. Personally I think they look like they might really hurt. I’m not so hungry for cookies anymore.
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Needle Felted Frankenstein Ornament

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Needle Felted Frankenstein Ornament
This Needle Felted Frankenstein Ornament will look great on your Halloween tree. What, you don’t have a Halloween tree? I have a tree I use all year long. I put eggs on it for Easter, candy for Valentine’s Day and so on. The best is St. Patricks Day when I decorate the tree with beer and pay two red-headed leprechauns to slap-fight each other beneath it.

Anywho, back to Frankenstein. Or Franklin N. Stein. Or Francis Ken Stein. Aliases, monsters have them. Deal with it. Experience the softer side of this monster with your own soft head. Well, his own head.

Poison Apple Soap

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Poison Apple Soap
Check out this Poison Apple Soap. No wonder Snow White took a bite out of this thing. Looks friggin’ delicious with the frosting in the shape of a skull. How could you not eat it? Snow White was trippin balls anyway. 7 dwarves, magic mirrors, evil queens… They called her Snow White because of her coke habit. The 7 dwarves were actually variations of LSD. Crazy stuff. But true. I read it online so it has to be true.

Anyway, don’t eat this poison apple. It’s soap. It would taste like soap. It’s for washing your hands and looking cool in your home. What’s wrong with you? It would really harm you or at least make you fall asleep until some prince kissed you. Or something.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? It’s me, isn’t it? Is this finally my chance? Please let it be me. I want so bad to be a pretty pretty Princess! Eh, that’s never going to happen! I need to give up on that dream. By the way, you can also check out this Black Heart Soap. It takes a very black heart to poison someone with an apple after all.