When one mythical creature starts kidnapping other mythical creatures, you know things are bad, as evidenced by this Bigfoot Kidnapping Gnomes Statue. Technically it’s gnome-napping. Which is a misde-minor. Get it? Misdemeanor… Misde-minor cuz their so small. He’s probably gonna take them back to his cave or stick-hut and cook them for dinner. Maybe he just wants company too. Or slaves. Maybe he’s gonna make them build him a Bigfoot castle.
Tag: home decor
American Horror Story: Hotel – Room 64 Door Plaque
Oh look, an American Horror Story: Hotel – Room 64 Door Plaque. What could possibly go wrong? Nothing bad ever happens in there, right? I’m just gonna hang this on my door. *Ding-Dong* A visitor already? Hello good sir? Of course you can stay here for a modest fee. I don’t make breakfast or the bed and the place is so dirty that even the roaches stay out. Enjoy your stay.
*Next day* Oh, I was sorry to hear that you were molested by our doll collection, which was possessed by demons at the time, but really controlled by the evil that is Lady Gaga, whose acting is almost as bad as her singing. Sorry you can’t have your money back. Here’s a coupon for next time that just expired.
Toast of the Zombie Goblet Set
Ohhhh toast of the Zombie! I’ll have mine with extra butter. Crisp, but not too crisp. Just a light smear of jelly on top just like my pap use to give me. In other words just a pap smear! Ewwww. I’m so wrong! I’m so gross! Get over it cupcake! This Toast of the Zombie Goblet Set lets the Zombie hands make a toast for you. Cuz everything is classier with Zombie hands. I said so!
Beware of Vampires and Zombies Pillows
Looks at my bed and notices the Beware of Vampires and Zombies Pillows. Looks under the bed, in the closet, out the window. Well hell, I don’t see either of those things,so I guess I’m safe. Gets in bed. Oh, it feels so warm and cozy. Vampire erupts from within my bed, followed by a Zombie. They stand there half out of my mattress and look at each other and then grab me so they can take me to their in-the-bed hell-world. WHY DID I NOT HEED THE WARNINGS?
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Nightmare Doll Head Orchid Planter
What the hell is growing out of that doll head? This Nightmare Doll Head Orchid Planter looks like it has a parasitic infection that is out of control. Probably possessing it and trying to take over the world. That is nasty! No wonder I like it. Just plant your plants in this thing and watch the roots grow out of its ever-loving head. Looks like a demented clown baby.