This Hannibal Zombie Elf On A Shelf is the elf on a shelf inside of a cell, wearing a muzzle. I guess the North Pole is a bloody place, with some sick and twisted elves. Now this guy can terrorize you in your own home during the holiday season. Keep that mask on so he doesn’t bite you. Or worse, eat you. With a bottle of wine. I wonder what wine goes best with me… Hmmm. No way I would let this guy in my home, but you make your own call. That call should be to the police as this elf is around your neck with a little knife.
Tag: home decor
Complete Set Of Crochet Plush Organs
Do you have a stuffed animal who is in need of immediate surgery and needs every organ transplanted? Thank God for this Complete Set Of Crochet Plush Organs. Now you can give your plush animals new life. Or you can just hang this entire set on your wall or something. Basically we are talking plush guts here. An entire torso worth of ’em. It’s all anatomically correct. I have to take their word for that cuz I’m not a stuffed animal doctor.
This is pretty cool and all, but what I really need is a replacement wiener for a Teddy Bear cuz mine didn’t come with one for some reason.
Jeepers Creepers Horror Movie Clock
Jeeper creepers, where’d ya get those peepers? Jeepers Creepers where you get those eyes? Probably from some other dude’s skull, cuz look at this guy. Don’t mess with him. This Jeepers Creepers Horror Movie Clock is pretty awesome. What time is it? Oh, it’s half past the severed head. I’m gonna be late! This clock has an axe for a pendulum that swings back and forth too.
Frightening Furniture – Stool Full of Skulls
This Stool Full of Skulls will look great in your catacomb room. What? I thought everyone had one of those. Not sure if I want to buy it though. I may have to request a stool sample. That way I can make up my mind.
Waits a week for it to be delivered.
Hey, why’d you send me poop? Ohhhhhh, I get it. I need to choose my words more carefully. Also, they didn’t have to light it on fire and ring the door bell. That was just mean.
The Hour Is Nigh – Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Unicorns
If it isn’t the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse Unicorns! Collect the whole set. Behold, four horrific unicorns: Death, Famine, Pestilence, and War. Not sure, but I think these may be knock-offs cuz I don’t see any cutie marks on their butt. Oh that’s- Nevermind. My bad. Also, I noticed you call them horsemen, but they don’t appear to be horses that look like men. They also don’t have riders. Also, they are unicorns. So what gives?
I’m gonna pit them against each other and save the world! Pestilence can kill War with a plague, Famine can kill Pestilence, Death will kill Famine and… Holy unicorn crap! There’s just no way to beat Death!
Okay, I can do this. Gotta get my head in the game. Instead Famine kills death… But wait, he’s death. How do you kill death? There must be a way to solve this riddle. Start again. Start again. Damn, changing up the order doesn’t work. It’s always death! Death! Death! *Screams, then collects myself with some deep breaths*
Oh well, looks like we are all screwed. I tried! I really tried guys! Death is just too powerful. Hey, at least none of them are named taxes. Am I right?