Damn. This Vampire Skull Mask is what vampires look like under their pale skin and beady little eyes? Dude must have been in bat form when he died. Sucks. Was probably drunk and flew right into a tree. Happens. Fun fact: My vampire name is Bela Lu-Gassy. For obvious reasons. Of course in high school they called me Vlad The Inhaler for completely different reasons. This is the perfect mask to wear to one of the Eyes Wide Shut Illuminati parties. Not that I ever get invited.
Tag: home decor
Sexy Velociraptor Body Hug Pillow Case
Well, hello there. You are one sexy Velociraptor. I am gonna make sweet love to you until you are dino-saur. Baby you are-
*Door opens*
What?! Nothing is happening here. Just admiring this fun Sexy Velociraptor Body Hug Pillow Case. What do you mean my hips were gyrating? It’s called dancing.
Dirty Dancing?
Very funny.
So you weren’t giving her a Jurassic Pork?
You are disgusting. She’s not like that.
So you weren’t giving her a big hard bang that would lead to the extinction of her species?
GET OUT! JUST GET OUT! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!
Ugly Face Toilet Plunger Cover
Check out this Ugly Face Toilet Plunger Cover. Dude, your face is so ugly I want to stick a toilet plunger in it. I bet this guy has heard that a million times. He’s got a face so ugly only a toilet plunger could love it. I guess that means he has a potty mouth. Honestly, this guy doesn’t look too bright, so he probably doesn’t mind getting rammed by a toilet plunger. I don’t even know the guy and I want to shove one in his head.
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Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Windchimes
This set of Freddy Krueger Nightmare On Elm Street Windchimes makes me suspect I’m actually in a dream. If I get too close and try to shut them up, it’s gonna go crazy and slash at me. That’s why I’m trying to wake myself by repeatedly pinching myself and throwing drinks in my own face. So far all it’s gotten me is a rash and a giant puddle on the carpet. Whatevs. Let it make all of the noise it wants. If I go to sleep while already sleeping he can’t get me. And if he can, I’m gonna keep sleeping in each dream and he will have to catch me. Eventually I’ll wake up….
Unless I have to wake up again and again until I find my way back to the first dream. This shizz is confusing. God dammit Freddy! Can’t I get one night’s sleep?
Dia De Los Muertos Sugar Skull Bride And Groom
Oh yeah? Dia De Los Muertos to you too buddy! This Dia De Los Muertos Sugar Skull Bride And Groom are all ready to walk down the aisle and get married. Cuz Marriage is the real Day of the Dead. Am I right guys? Is my wife here? Thank God. These no longer single skulls have rhinestones, paper flowers and a hand made top hat.
You may now kiss the bride. *Shoves their skulls together and watches in horror as they break and turn to dust* Uh,sorry about that folks. I guess it was not meant to be. That’s how you know it’s unholy matrimony.