Buffalo Hoof Taxidermy Lamps. Pretty much what it sounds like. Two hairy legs all up in your bidness. I know what you’re thinking. Why do I need this when I already have a wife? Good question. Here’s a better one? Why won’t your wife shave her legs?
Buffalo girls won’t you come out tonight? Come out tonight. Come out tonight. Buffalo girls won’t you come out tonight? Probably won’t cuz your legs are nasty!
Not sure what to make of this Baby Doll Table Lamp With Trophy Barbie Head. He’s making a face like he has a monkey-brain, which explains why he is tearing a Barbie doll limb from limb. Anybody can do that. Barbies have so little body fat that they come apart like string cheese. So I’m not impressed.
Anyway, put some damn clothes on baby. Can you be attached to a lamp that makes me un-see things?
This Steampunk Gas Mask Chandelier is the perfect way to decorate your home during the apocalypse. And if you get attacked by ravenous farting zombies, you can even grab yourself one of the steampunk gas masks if you need to. I might just buy this one to prepare for the end of the world. I can hang it up and name each mask. You gotta have some friends to talk to when it gets lonely. And only losers decorate a soccer ball with sharpie and call it Wilson. Tom Hanks is such an idiot!
“I don’t know. I rather like him.”
You shut up. You shut your dimply basketball hole Spalding!
Etsy seller FikoArt sells chandeliers made from tree roots. They also look like tormented souls crying out in pain every time you turn on the lights. Yeah, great decorating choice honey. Sure, I love it. Blah blah, looks great. Nah. I’m good. I’ll just eat my dinner in pitch blackness. Does that one guy have a light bulb for a wiener? I can’t tell, cuz it’s all disturbing.
I AM GROOT! KILL ME!
I am under you, trying to eat dinner. Kill ME!
I guess we are both screwed!
The LAMBAG is not for the sheepish. This lamb purse is perfect for people on the lamb. I’m gonna call him Lambert and take him with me when I go shopping. “You can’t bring that in here!” The hell I can’t. You have your purse and I have mine. Next you’ll be asking me to remove my high heels and take off my makeup. It’s a GD police state!
“No sir. It’s not the dead animal on your hip, but all of the lamb and sheep puns we object too.”
Stares stunned. “Bah!” Walks out.
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