Tag: lamp

Skull With Brain Electric Candle Holder

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Skull With Brain Electric Candle Holder
This Skull With Brain Electric Candle Holder is a really bright idea. No wonder the light bulb above his head is lighting up. It takes brains to come up with an idea like this and this guy has brains. I know because they;re exposed and a candlestick just happens to be shoved in there. This is an awesome and creepy electric candle. The very definition of interior frighting. I know because I looked it up in my 53rd edition Cobwebs and Creepery dictionary. It had a picture of this thing.

I bet those brains look great by candlelight. Someone said the same thing about me once, but that was a zombie who was trying to invite me to dinner.
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Interior Frighting: Crazy Skeleton Chandelier

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Interior Frighting Crazy Skeleton Chandelier
This Skeleton Chandelier is made from plastic and bone molds. Only hang this up if your house has good bones. Get it? Pretty cool chandelier though. I find those bones humorous. *Crickets chirp* I’m just ribbin’ ya. This thing is perfect for any home, but especially if your house already looks like it came out of a horror movie.

*Sits down to eat dinner. Jaw bone falls from the ceiling and sinks into mashed potatoes. Shakes fist at chandelier. Picks bone out and goes back to eating.*
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UFO Lamp: Unidentified Flying Objet D’art

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UFO Lamp Unidentified Flying Objet D'art
This UFO lamp is out of this world! My only complaint is that there’s no cow tumbling up into the light beam, mooing and running in place. Meh. You can’t have everything. When it’s plugged in it gives off a blue light and when its unplugged, the abduction beam glows green. Just like a real spaceship. So I’ve heard. I don’t have any firsthand experience with abduction beams. Fun fact: First I typed “abduction beans”. It made me giggle. That is all.

So anyway, I’m thinking you get some Men In Black figures, a cow or two, some little alien figures, Mulder and Scully, and you have yourself an awesome playset as well as a lamp. Never seen a UFO, but I have seen an OFU which is UFO spelled backwards. That would be my “Obese F**king Uncle”. Damn that guy can eat. He doesn’t eat spare ribs. Just ribs. Cuz when he eats, he doesn’t have any to spare. All goes in his mouth you see. He doesn’t “put it away” because there’s nothing left to put away. We love him. We just eat at separate tables. In separate restaurants. In separate towns. He’s kinda like a black hole. Gotta stay away from the event horizon.

Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp

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Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp
ACK! Get that baby away from me! Go Franken-baby! Get out of here! *Swings my torch at him and jabs my pitchfork at him.* This is a face that only a mother could love. Yeah, a blind mother f***er! If you’re looking for something nasty and horrible to light up your room at night, look no further than this Weird Franken-Baby Doll Head Lamp.

*Shudders* I need therapy just from seeing this thing. It has like a Jack-O-Lantern carving in the back of it’s skull too. Also seems to emit the blue light of a hundred souls that it has devoured.
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The Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture

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The Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture
Seasons don’t fear the reaper. Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain… I fear that guy, cuz I’m not wind, sun or rain. Although I do break my share of wind both in the sun and in the rain so that others may fear the reaper. This awesome Grim Reaper Illuminated Wall Sculpture reminded me. It makes it look like the old Grimster is coming out of your wall, bearing a light like he just captured your soul.

Damn dude, why ya gotta bug me while I’m sitting at home surfing the internet? And what’s up with those ribs? You can decide who lives and who dies, but you can’t get a shirt that fits right? Actually, I hear ya on that one. My gut makes it a challenge. No, don’t cry! *Sigh* Fine, you hang right there and we can talk all about it. It’s gonna be okay. Now tell me all about it. There there. Don’t be so Grim! Maybe you should write your feelings down in a book. Maybe a grimnoir? I kid. I kid. You look like death warmed over.