These Horror Movie Monster Cookies are so scary, I’m gonna toss my cookies. Chucky, Billy The Puppet, Pennywise the Dancing Clown, Captain Spaulding, Freddy Krueger, Pale Man, Heidi, Jason Voorhees, Pinhead and Dr. Hannibal Lecter are all here and they are sweet for once. Eat ’em up before they get not so sweet and slash you. You might also want to try some UFO and Alien cookies.
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I love a girl with bats in her belfry. Crabs in her crabshack, not so much cuz you need special creams and stuff to stop the itching. But yeah, this Bat Hair Bow Clip looks sexy. Like you are a servant of some vampire. I’ll let ya bite my neck just as long as you leave a hickey, so everyone can see proof that I scored or almost scored. And that moment when you grab this bat hair bow and let it loose? Letting your hair flow down as you shake it free? Oh man. I am so turned on right now. Then the bat will fly off and we will live happily ever after. You’ll nag me about my healthy eating of course and my drinking at 5 AM, and the donuts, not to mention the fact that I just lay there scratching and farting and don’t look for a job, but I know we are going to be so happy together. That’s why I got you this ring. I love you. Was that too soon? Should I have waited?
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What the shizz! I don’t know if this Monstrous Mutated Mutation is some dude who ate too much at the McDonald’s in Chernobyl, or a mutated peen and sack that had too much viagra from the Fukushima pharmaceutical factory. I’m guessing the latter. If it starts growing suddenly or vomits a stream of pee, I guess we’ll know. I can’t unsee it and now neither can you. It ain’t no tardigrade.
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I know what you are asking? Is this my mummy? It could be. This Miniature Mummy in a Coffin is going to look great on your desk or anywhere else. He’s miniature, but he has a big heart, so treat him right. Mummies get so wrapped up in their work. Like when you wear these mummy leggings to work. Brains! Brains! Oh man, I got that wrong didn’t I? Too much caffeine today. Don’t tell anyone. Mums the word. Those coffins they keep mummies in are pretty dusty. No wonder they call them a sar-cough-agus! And I’m outta here.
Decorate with monsters, that’s what I say. This Creature from the Black Lagoon Saucer Plate will look great on your wall. I know they call him the Creature from the Black Lagoon, but I don’t see color. The lagoon could be pink for all I care. *Laughs like a rich idiot as I lift my teacup to my lips from my monster decorated saucer. Rings for the butler.* Wait. Why am I wearing a powdered wig? It’s like I’m not even in control of my own imagination. Damn.
Anyway, back to playing with my action figure.